Partners in Parenting

“Instant Gratification!”

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”  Romans 8:25  Paul certainly didn’t write this in 2012;  or anytime in our recent past for that matter.  We can pretty much get what we want when we want it, and we can generally receive it very quickly.  Last week, one of my children wanted something from a local store.  I said we could go to the store the next time we were out to look at the item.  This child of mine decided it would be wise to look the item up from that local store online.  WOW, a deal of 15% off with no shipping costs.  What could be better, right!!  Then I believe the thinking went like this:  OK, dad already said he would take me to the store, but he didn’t say I couldn’t place an online order.  He’s not real wild about that stuff ---  Mom just got home.  She doesn’t know about the conversation with dad.  Mom likes good deals shopping while dad could care less.  I think mom will let me place the online order.  Here I go:  Ask, a little convincing, reminder that mom wouldn’t have to find time to take me to the store…BINGO!  I got the green light to order. Mom loves me so much!  A few clicks later, and the items was ordered.  My child felt a real sense of ownership even though the item hadn’t arrived.  We had to deal with the less than stellar communication in this situation, but we also had to help our child understand about patience and waiting in life.  Well, it sure helped drive that lesson home when the order our child placed was WAY too big.  It wouldn’t fit me or any other person I know.  I don’t think that would have happened had we just gone to the local store!!

As a parent, I was reminded of the constant desire to have things now.  Not just my kids’ instant gratification desires, but I was reminded of my own.  I also considered the reality that our salvation as Christians is kind of like an online order.  It is ours.  We own it.  It just hasn’t arrived yet.  That’s what Paul was talking about in Romans 8:25.  We hope for life with Jesus in heaven, but it isn’t here yet since we are alive on earth.  We own it as Christians, but it hasn’t arrived yet!

Family Discussion Points!

Discuss why waiting is so hard!  Ask yourself:  Am I good at waiting?

Share stories of having to wait for something you really wanted.

Discuss waiting for life in heaven and what we should be doing now on earth.

Partners in Parenting

Partners in Parenting

“What’s all the Fuss?”

Before you even begin to read this, let’s set one thing straight:  I love Christmas! 

We had a family Christmas party over the weekend.  It was about an hour and a half drive to get to it.  Before going, we went to church, but we were given strict instructions not to be late because dinner was going to begin at 6pm sharp.  It was understood that we should dress nicely for this party.  We were to be ready for a family picture when Santa came to the party with gifts for all the kids.  We were to have one gift for a male and one gift for a female in order to play a gift-giving game for the adults.  I could go on, but I won’t… As the time for the party approached, I remember thinking to myself, “OK, let’s not mess this up:  drive up north, go to church, don’t be late, dress nice, bring a camera, bring all our gifts, fuss, fuss, fuss!  I just wanted to go hang out with family and have fun.  Why all the fussing about so many things?  Maybe it’s because all the fuss is worth it.  If it is worth celebrating, it is worth fussing over!  I am reminded that celebrating Jesus’ birth is a really big deal!  Jesus presence in the world is a big deal! Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth, not all the other things we fuss over.  Even an unborn baby knew what a big deal Jesus’ birth was:  Mary enters Elizabeth’s house and greets her, then…”When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped [John the Baptist] in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.” Luke 1:41

Christmas is festive!  It is a time to celebrate!  There are lights, trees, decorations, get-togethers, etc., and I enjoy them all.  We make a big deal out of Christmas, and the more I think about what Christmas is and what it is not, I realize that Jesus is worth “all the fuss!”  Merry Christmas!

Family Discussion Points!

What Christmas things does your family fuss about?  What don’t you fuss about that many families do?

What are the competing messages, people, etc. associated with Christmas?  Does Jesus win or lose in that competition in your home?

Where and when will we worship as a family this Christmas?

Partners in Parenting

 “Enjoying Someone Else’s Success!”

As some of you may know about me, I have a passion for the outdoors – and deer hunting in particular.  Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I was able to spend a day in the woods with a very close friend, his college-age son, and a foreign exchange student from China assigned to his son.  We had a great day together watching the snow fall, sun rise, animals, etc…..  In the end, my friend and his son were both successful in harvesting a deer.  I, on the other hand, missed when the opportunity presented itself.  They experienced success.  I experienced failure.  I found myself sharing in their joy due to their success and my own failure didn’t bother me.  At the end of the day, I contemplated how that was a pretty odd feeling for me.  I’m usually pretty upset with myself when I fail at something in life.  I fail all the time at things, and I don’t like it.  I also found it odd that I would be so excited about someone else’s success at the very same time that I had failed.  I’m very thankful my heart was filled with joy and not envy.  Paul expressed his joy for the believers in Ephesus even though he was enduring great persecution for his faith – Ephesians 1:15, 16  “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.”  The events of this past weekend reminded me to find joy in the success of others despite what is happening in my life.  Paul did it for the early Christians, and I think Christians today can do that for each other.

 

Family Discussion Points!

Share some personal failures with each other.  Now share some personal successes with each other. 

Consider this – as you “fail” at something, is it OK with you that others “succeed?”  Why or why not?

Paul is excited about the faith of the Christians in Ephesus.  What do we tend to get excited about in our own lives?

Partners in Parenting

"Enjoying Someone Else’s Success!”


s some of you may know about me, I have a passion for the outdoors – and deer hunting in particular. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I

was able to spend a day in the woods with a very close friend, his college-age son, and a foreign exchange student from China assigned to his

son. We had a great day together watching the snow fall, sun rise, animals, etc….. In the end, my friend and his son were both successful in

harvesting a deer. I, on the other hand, missed when the opportunity presented itself. They experienced success. I experienced failure. I

found myself sharing in their joy due to their success and my own failure didn’t bother me. At the end of the day, I contemplated how that

was a pretty odd feeling for me. I’m usually pretty upset with myself when I fail at something in life. I fail all the time at things, and I don’t

like it. I also found it odd that I would be so excited about someone else’s success at the very same time that I had failed. I’m very thankful

my heart was filled with joy and not envy. Paul expressed his joy for the believers in Ephesus even though he was enduring great persecution

for his faith –

Ephesians 1:15, 16 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I

have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.”

The events of this past weekend reminded me to find joy in the

success of others despite what is happening in my life. Paul did it for the early Christians, and I think Christians today can do that for each

other.

Family Discussion Points!

Share some personal failures with each other. Now share some personal successes with each other.

Consider this – as you “fail” at something, is it OK with you that others “succeed?” Why or why not?

Paul is excited about the faith of the Christians in Ephesus. What do we tend to get excited about in our own lives?

Partners in Parenting

“Enjoying Someone Else’s Success!”

As some of you may know about me, I have a passion for the outdoors – and deer hunting in particular. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I

was able to spend a day in the woods with a very close friend, his college-age son, and a foreign exchange student from China assigned to his

son. We had a great day together watching the snow fall, sun rise, animals, etc….. In the end, my friend and his son were both successful in

harvesting a deer. I, on the other hand, missed when the opportunity presented itself. They experienced success. I experienced failure. I

found myself sharing in their joy due to their success and my own failure didn’t bother me. At the end of the day, I contemplated how that

was a pretty odd feeling for me. I’m usually pretty upset with myself when I fail at something in life. I fail all the time at things, and I don’t

like it. I also found it odd that I would be so excited about someone else’s success at the very same time that I had failed. I’m very thankful

my heart was filled with joy and not envy. Paul expressed his joy for the believers in Ephesus even though he was enduring great persecution

for his faith –

Ephesians 1:15, 16 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I

have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.”

The events of this past weekend reminded me to find joy in the

success of others despite what is happening in my life. Paul did it for the early Christians, and I think Christians today can do that for each

other.

Family Discussion Points!

Share some personal failures with each other. Now share some personal successes with each other.

Consider this – as you “fail” at something, is it OK with you that others “succeed?” Why or why not?

Paul is excited about the faith of the Christians in Ephesus. What do we tend to get excited about in our own lives?

Partners in Parenting

Partners in Parenting

"Enjoying Someone Else’s Success!”

As some of you may know about me, I have a passion for the outdoors – and deer hunting in particular. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I was able to spend a day in the woods with a very close friend, his college-age son, and a foreign exchange student from China assigned to his

son. We had a great day together watching the snow fall, sun rise, animals, etc….. In the end, my friend and his son were both successful in

harvesting a deer. I, on the other hand, missed when the opportunity presented itself. They experienced success. I experienced failure. I

found myself sharing in their joy due to their success and my own failure didn’t bother me. At the end of the day, I contemplated how that

was a pretty odd feeling for me. I’m usually pretty upset with myself when I fail at something in life. I fail all the time at things, and I don’t

like it. I also found it odd that I would be so excited about someone else’s success at the very same time that I had failed. I’m very thankful

my heart was filled with joy and not envy. Paul expressed his joy for the believers in Ephesus even though he was enduring great persecution

for his faith –

Ephesians 1:15, 16 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.”

The events of this past weekend reminded me to find joy in the

success of others despite what is happening in my life. Paul did it for the early Christians, and I think Christians today can do that for each

other.

Family Discussion Points!

Share some personal failures with each other. Now share some personal successes with each other.

Consider this – as you “fail” at something, is it OK with you that others “succeed?” Why or why not?

Paul is excited about the faith of the Christians in Ephesus. What do we tend to get excited about in our own lives?

Partners in Parenting

Partners in Parenting

"Enjoying Someone Else’s Success!”

As some of you may know about me, I have a passion for the outdoors – and deer hunting in particular. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I

was able to spend a day in the woods with a very close friend, his college-age son, and a foreign exchange student from China assigned to his

son. We had a great day together watching the snow fall, sun rise, animals, etc….. In the end, my friend and his son were both successful in

harvesting a deer. I, on the other hand, missed when the opportunity presented itself. They experienced success. I experienced failure. I

found myself sharing in their joy due to their success and my own failure didn’t bother me. At the end of the day, I contemplated how that

was a pretty odd feeling for me. I’m usually pretty upset with myself when I fail at something in life. I fail all the time at things, and I don’t

like it. I also found it odd that I would be so excited about someone else’s success at the very same time that I had failed. I’m very thankful

my heart was filled with joy and not envy. Paul expressed his joy for the believers in Ephesus even though he was enduring great persecution

for his faith –

Ephesians 1:15, 16 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I

have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.”

The events of this past weekend reminded me to find joy in the

success of others despite what is happening in my life. Paul did it for the early Christians, and I think Christians today can do that for each

other.

Family Discussion Points!

Share some personal failures with each other. Now share some personal successes with each other.

Consider this – as you “fail” at something, is it OK with you that others “succeed?” Why or why not?

Paul is excited about the faith of the Christians in Ephesus. What do we tend to get excited about in our own lives?

Partners in Parenting

“Good Days and Bad Days!”

“So, how was your day?”  These are pretty common words shared amongst family members.  Parents ask their kids the question referring to school.  Spouses ask each other the question referring to each other’s work day.  Our sincere hope for our family members is that they have indeed had a good day and not a bad day.  Ideally, everyone would respond to that question with a glowing response filled with wonderful details about the abundance of blessings showered upon them by amazing people throughout the entire experience of their day…YEAH RIGHT!  (sarcasm intended)  Notice I started that sentence with the word “ideally.”  We don’t live in an ideal world.  Instead, we live in a sinful world.  Kids don’t go to school with 100% “ideal” classmates.  Adults do not work with “ideal” coworkers.  None of us live next to 100% “ideal” neighbors.  In fact, none of us are “ideal” to everyone else, and I guess now…I’m just wondering what “ideal” even means.

I want my kids to have good days, but I also know that God’s Word is truth, and some days will not be the fantastic experience we all hoped for.  Matthew 6:34b  Jesus says, “Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  I think we would be wise to celebrate and acknowledge all the good days, but also all the good things in each day.  Whether the day as a whole was good or bad, there are good things to take from that day.  Taking good things from the day instead of dwelling on the bad things can be the perspective that actually makes the day a good day!!  Celebrate it!

Family Discussion Points!

Discuss the ideal friend, parent, child, neighbor, etc. – tough to do!!

Talk about the good things from the day – ONLY the good things.  Nothing bad.  That’s hard to do, isn’t it?

Celebrate and thank God for all the good parts of each day on a daily basis even if it is just thinking about them during your drive time.

Partners in Parenting

“Cool Chills but Cold Bites!”

Chills = relaxed and enjoyable

Bites = painfully unpleasant

These definitions are ones I made up for the purpose of this writing!

The cool autumn air makes me feel rather “chills” inside.  I love the cool weather: jeans, sweatshirts, football, leaves, etc. are great, but now we are into November.  The cold this past weekend was the kind of cold that “bites.”  The air was moist with the wind blowing out of the north.  I was not outside very long when the cold became more than uncomfortable.  The cold penetrated all the way to my bones, and I thought, “Wow, this cold really bites all the way through me.”

As I endured the cold, I was reminded of how my words can be “chills” or “bites” to others.  Most times, I don’t desire to hurt anyone, but it can happen.  I don’t want words to be unpleasant, but sometimes they are.  I especially need to be aware of this as a parent.  James 1:19 “My dear brothers, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about a time you hurt someone with your words without intending to do so.

What kind of words do you remember most easily:  words that chill or words that bite?

Why are we to be slow to speak?  What’s the benefit?

Partners in Parenting

“Finding Value!”

I don’t like shopping, but I like it when I find what I am intending to buy – and it’s on SALE!!  It makes me feel good to get more value for my dollar.  One of my kids commented yesterday, “When I’m old enough to drive, gas is going to be $20.”  A family conversation about the value of things over time launched from that statement.  It made me think about what I value in life.  Have you thought about that lately?  I haven’t, and yet, I know that considering what I value will impact how I live my life, with whom I spend time, and where I will invest my energy.  God has found value in humankind, and He sent his son to die for everyone.  We are that valuable to Him!  In talking about birds and humans, Jesus said, “Are you not much more valuable than they [birds]?” Matthew 6:26.  I encourage you to talk about the things you value in life with your family.

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about the things each family member values.  Talk about the people each family member values.  Prioritize worship and time with God against all the things you mentioned as things you value.

Consider things that have little or no value to you.

Talk about value over time – my kids really understood the value of toys that were expensive when they first came out compared to their value today (Nintendo DS, iPod, etc.).

Partners in Parenting

“Significant Days!”

I have been spending a great deal of time with my dad lately until he died in the Lord on October 17, 2012.  He broke his hip on

September 25^th.  He had been in the hospital and a nursing home since being taken by ambulance from his farm.  Those days leading up to October 17^th are going to be very memorable for me.  I watched him quickly decline in health and in spirit.  I watched him deal with intense pain.  I saw him struggle to gather his thoughts to express what he was thinking.  That is the down-side of those days.  The up-side of those days is that I got to talk to him about his life and learn new things.  I never knew that he got to play one game of football and one game of baseball each year.  Otherwise, he had to work on the farm.  I also got to speak German to him because he spoke German and English growing up.  In his last five days, he rarely spoke in English at all.  He and I never really spoke German to each other, but we did for five days. 

October 17^th has been a significant date for my dad.  His great-grandfather died on October 17, 1890.  He and his dad were in a car accident on October 17, 1961, and his dad eventually died over a month later from injuries sustained in the accident.  He even commented to me before that “maybe I’ll go on October 17^th too.”  Yes, a significant day for him during his life.

The truth is – every day has significance.  My dad’s final days on earth are significant to me, but so are all the days I spent with him from my birth until his final days.  I am vividly reminded that all days have significance, and I want to remember that as I parent my own children.  The things parents do or don’t do in the life of their child matter and are significant.  As my dad is now in heaven, I’d have to say that he is now living the most significant days he’ll ever have because he is with Jesus!!  Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  My dad’s favorite verse.

Family Discussion Points!

What are some significant dates on the calendar for your family?

Talk about your favorite family memories from the last year – just to remind others of the significance of time together.

Talk about how significant it is for us to spend eternity with Jesus above anything we accomplish here on earth.

Partners in Parenting

“The ‘Laundry Fairy’”!

I got home late in the evening yesterday, and I was overjoyed to discover that the “Laundry Fairy” had come to the house while I was gone.  While nobody was looking, I gave a quick fist pump in celebration that I wouldn’t have to be the “Laundry Fairy” this time.  We call the “Laundry Fairy” the person or people who fold the laundry for the family.  At our house, the clean laundry gets put on the couch until it gets folded for everyone to take upstairs to their dresser.  The hard part was done, and I was so happy that someone else had done the work.  The “Laundry Fairy” is a light-hearted way that we keep the work done around the house that needs to get done for our home to function smoothly.  Yes, work is required for homes to function smoothly!  What about your home?  Is everyone doing work to help and support the needs of the family?  What about making meals, setting the table, cleaning, chores, homework, etc., etc., etc.  Many times work is viewed as a curse instead of a blessing.  That is not so.  Work is a blessing given by God for serving others.  “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” Genesis 2:15

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about who is the “Laundry Fairy” at your house.  Do you have any other “Fairies” to mention??

Thank family members for the work they do around the house on a daily basis.  Make this an on-going habit to notice the work of others and thank them.

Talk about how doing work is a blessing even when we see it as a real “pain in the neck” to have to do.  (NOTE: Work is a blessing because it is one of the things God put man on the earth to do – work in order to care for things and people He has given you.)  Is work an act of love?  Talk about it.

Partners in Parenting

“Singular or Plural?”

Singular means one.  Plural means more than one.  Seems pretty simple, but our house has become infected with pluralistic tendencies!  Let me explain:

 The alarm goes off, and I say to Jen “Good morning, Honey” in a soft voice.  She usually quietly responds with “Good morning, Hun” in a similar soft tone.  She then calls our chocolate lab up on the bed to lay by her and says in a louder and high-pitched voice (z is used to reflect the actual sound spoken), “Goodz morningz Zekes.  Mommaz loves youz soz muches – yes Iz doz!  Youz suchez az goodz boyz!”  And on and on it goes!  She talks to the dog in a completely plural tense all the time.  It seems crazy, and you might wonder where she got this strange behavior.  I’ll tell you – Logan!  Logan started it and still does the same thing.  I laugh and tease them a bit when I hear this.  I like to remind them we only have one dog named Zeke, not two or three.

This reminds me of how God in the world today has really become like gods to many people.  The thinking that “they are really all the same god” is very pervasive and pluralistic – and it is also 100% false.  There is only one God.  The rest are phonies!  Our kids need to know about that because they can be deceived if they are not aware of the truth on this point.  The Old Testament is filled with idol worship (gods), and the Israelites had a hard time resisting alternate gods.  It was real then, and it is real today.  It is important in our Christian walk that we get that right!!  “Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.”  Deuteronomy 6:4

Family Discussion Points!

What “other gods” exist today from religions or life in general?

Name some things where it would be strange to have only one in your entire house (TV, sink, door, etc.)  Name some things where it would be strange to have more than one in your entire house (kitchen, driveway, etc.)

Discuss why this idea of only one God is important to be clear on!!

Partners in Parenting

“Planning Ahead!”

I enjoyed some time in the woods this past weekend.  I enjoyed seeing many things in God’s wonderful creation, but I was really intrigued by the squirrels scurrying here and there all morning.  The multiple squirrels I saw were busy dropping acorns from the trees at the very end of tiny branches.  They would do this for 15 – 20 minutes before climbing down the tree to collect the acorns.  They would collect the acorns one at a time and bury the acorn in the moist soil in the woods.  They would continue to dig a hole, hide an acorn; dig a hole, hide an acorn; dig a hole, hide an acorn…  This went on for hours as the squirrels made preparations for the coming winter months.  If they didn’t hide the acorns, other animals would come eat them, and the squirrels would be short of food this winter.  In short, the squirrels were planning ahead.  Seeing this happen reminded me of my need to plan ahead as a parent.  Plan ahead for activities coming up that the kids are involved in, plan for meals, plan for college, plan for driver’s training, plan for ______(you can fill in the blank with lots of things).  However, as I think about the future for my kids, I’m reminded of the importance of focusing on what really matters.  Having enough food really matters to the squirrel!  What really matters to a human being?  Faith in Jesus Christ will secure the future for my children in life on earth and life for eternity.  Right now, I’m really good at being busy like the squirrels are, but I have to be busy about the important things that pass on faith in Jesus.  I can’t lose track of that in my busyness with all the other activities of parenting.  The faith future of my kids depends so much on my ability to be “planning ahead” right now.  “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

Family Discussion Points!

Plan ahead for a family activity this weekend.  Then enjoy the activity together.

Talk about busyness and how important it all is or isn’t for your family.

Discuss all the ways you are “planning ahead” for the faith of your family (worship, prayer, reading the Bible, Christian education, Bible Study, helping others, using God’s Word to guide your life, etc.)

Partners in Parenting

“Coming Alive!”

Over the weekend, I cut some of the dead stalks growing out of the center of my hosta plants on the side of my garage.  Afterward, I walked into the back yard and noticed all the dead Black-Eyed Susan stalks where beautiful yellow flowers once bloomed.  Yep, Summer is coming to an end as Autumn begins on Saturday, so lots of plants, leaves, grass, etc. will begin to die off.  It has to die so it can come to life again in the spring.  I started thinking to myself: “What makes me ‘come alive?’  What makes my kids’ come alive?’  What did God design them for doing in life?”  I “come alive” in the fall because I love the cool air and spending time outdoors.  Cool days energize me.  My kids “come alive” due to different things from sports to friends to activities.  It was neat to consider their uniqueness in light of who God has made them to be.  People tend to “come alive” when they are doing things that bring them great joy because it is a part of who they are.  Some kids love sports; some music; some theater; some reading; some socializing; some working with their hands; etc.  Parents consider your kids!  When do you see them “come alive?”  It is a clue into who God has made them to be, and God clearly cares about each one of us – “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.”  Luke 12:7

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about your favorite season of the year and why.

Parents, make a list of things that you think makes each of your kids “come alive.”  Share it with them.

Talk about the Top 5 activities each family member enjoys doing pretending that they are the only 5 things they can do with their free time for the rest of 2012.

Partners in Parenting

Instant Recognition!

There are some people that you can instantly recognize when you see them.  Those people are typically famous people that we get to see fairly often thanks to the media.  But there are other people we recognize from years gone by.  I had this happen a few weeks ago at a Detroit Tigers game. 

At the conclusion of the game, people began to stand up to leave.  Before I stood up (in Row 42 of my section), I noticed a large man in the front row stand up.  I instantly told my wife, “That is Dan who just stood up.  Look, that’s Dan!”  Doubt crept into my mind, but then the man turned sideways, and I thought, “Oh yeah, that’s Dan alright!  Where is his wife Nancy?”  Shortly afterward, I spotted Nancy, and I had all the doubt erased that the person I instantly noticed from behind and 42 rows away was truly Dan.  Now understand, I haven’t seen Dan in 10-15 years, but Dan spent about as much time with my brother and me growing up as any of my other siblings.  My kids have heard numerous stories about Dan.  The amazing stories about Dan have almost given Dan legendary status with my kids.  Dan got to meet my kids, and I got to meet his.  My kids just stood there looking at him in disbelief – this guy they have heard of for so long is actually real.  I recognized him in an instant, but my kids couldn’t believe they were actually looking at the Dan they had heard about so often.

The disciples had a hard time recognizing Jesus as the Messiah, but eventually they did (Mark 8:29 “But what about you?”  Jesus asked. “Who do you say that I am?”  Peter answered, “You are the Christ.”)  Do we always recognize God all around us?  Where?  I hope you can instantly recognize God all around you – He deserves instant recognition!

 

Family Discussion Points!

Have every family member share people who they think everyone will instantly recognize when they see them (President Obama, etc.)

Parents, share a story with your kids about a childhood friend.

Discuss where you see God all around you and why?  examples: 

• in nature because He is the creator of every drop of water, tree, plant, animal, cloud, etc. (Genesis 1);
• in acts of love and kindness because He is defined as love (I John 4:8) so love comes from Him;
• in the Bible because God is the Word (John 1:1)

Partners in Parenting

This is the LAST Partners in Parenting until September!

"It's Time To Go!"

Last week, Jen and I decided to go see a movie.  We both arrived home about 6pm, quickly ate supper with the kids, and got ready to leave for the 7pm movie we wanted to see.  We were excited to go on a "date" even though it was a weeknight, so we kept reminding each other, "It's time to go!"  I got in the car first.  Jen got in on the passenger side and started to place her purse on the floor by her feet when she screamed like I haven't heard in a looooonnnnnnnngggggggg time!  I thought it was "time to go" to the movies.  She thought it was "time to go" out of the car in an instant.  She was out of that car so fast and about 20 feet away half-yelling and half-laughing.  She left her windows open when she got home, and a bird had flown into her car while we had supper.  I got a baseball bat to slip under the bird and get him out so he could fly to safety.  It was a very young hawk who could barely fly away.  For that young hawk, it was "time to go" back to its nest.

"It's time to go" on summer vacation in a few weeks, but it will still be "time to go" to church each week.  I want to remind everyone of this because God calls us to come to worship Him and be strengthened in our faith.  Summer vacation is for school, not for church.  I pray that you'll be devoted to regular worship this summer.  It is urgent for our spiritual growth.  More urgent than a movie or getting out of the car!!  We need to be like the first Christian churches in Acts regarding coming together for worship - they were devoted to it.

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." Acts 2:42

I'll see you in church this summer!!

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about summer vacation plans.

Discuss who is typically late and has to be reminded "It's time to go?"

Talk about the importance of being in church with other Christians. (NOTE:  It is a commandment [#3])

Partners in Parenting

"A Light Walk and A Dark Walk!"

I had the opportunity to go for a walk this past weekend.  The interesting thing about my walk was that I left about an hour before daylight, and eventually, I came to a woods with about 45 minutes of time before the sky would begin to lighten with the rising sun.  The walk across a field and along a fence row was very easy to do without using a flashlight.  My eyes adjusted to the darkness around me because there was actually plenty of light available - even though it was completely cloudy.  When I came to the woods, I stepped in among the large trees.  Within a few steps, I couldn't see a thing.  I had to turn on my flashlight because my eyes couldn't adjust to darkness that dark.  That experience reminded me of how God is the light of the world, but life without God is darkness.  I could see where I was going so long as I chose to walk in the light God provided me as I traversed the field and fence row.  But that light was not evident when I chose to walk in a place where God's light was blocked from my vision (in the woods).  I had to use my flashlight to spread light in that dark place.  Our lives in Christ are like that walk.  It is wise to stay in the light of God, but when darkness envelopes us at times in life, we need to provide light to those places too.  Parents, I pray that you'll keep showing God's light in the lives of your children so their "dark days" are filled with God's great love!!  "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."  I John 1:5

Family Discussion Points!

Where is the darkest place you've ever been.

If God is light, who is darkness (Satan).

Share any ways family members spread light to other family members.

Partners in Parenting

"Powerful Reminders!"

Last week, I was so excited to get an afternoon to myself to spend in the woods.  I love to be out in the woods to walk, explore, think, and relax.  I drove to the farm I grew up on ready to make the half mile walk to the woods, but upon arrival, I found my dad struggling to untangle some rope.  At 82 years old, my dad's hands don't work very well any longer, and he needed the rope to plant a straight line in his garden.  I spent time helping him in the garden, but I was really thinking about the woods.  He got the first seeds in the ground, and he was so excited.  He even pumped his fist and said, "There'll be red beets soon!"  The rain drops had just started falling as he was planting.  Then, the sky grew darker and darker.  My dad and I talked in the garage and watched the rain fall.  The dark sky turned grey due to the torrential downpour that ensued.  Hail, wind, and tons of rain all came very quickly.  I thought to myself, "I hope those red beets know how to swim," but I couldn't say that to my dad (see picture #1).  I was very frustrated to realize that I wouldn't get to make my trip to the woods, but I was suddenly thankful I didn't get caught out in that storm. 

Powerful reminder - I can only control so much in life, but I can't control everything.  God's in control of everything, not me.  In the flow of life, that sometimes frustrates me, but ultimately, I am so thankful that God is in control.  His knowledge, power, presence, love, grace, and forgiveness is beyond my own, and that is a very good thing.  (NOTE:  A few hours later, I got another powerful reminder of God's control in my life - see picture #2 of double full rainbow)

As parents, things happen that are powerful reminders that we aren't always in control of our children's decisions.  They make mistakes.  They disappoint us.  Our job is to respond with powerful reminders of our love, grace, and forgiveness just as God does.  Yes, we provide consequences when appropriate, but we also respond in love.  That is a powerful reminder to our children that they are loved.

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about who is in control of things in your home (toys, yard work, cooking, etc.)

Talk about whether control is a good thing or a bad thing.  How and why?

Is God's ultimate control comforting or not as you live?

Partners in Parenting

Partners in Parenting

"Watching Your Kids Grow Up!”

The other day, I took Zeke, our 4 month old Lab, out to the lake in hopes that he'd swim.  I'd taken him to the lake on a number of other occasions, but he hadn't gone swimming yet.  Every time we went, I'd walk out into deeper water in my waders hoping he'd swim out to me.  He would go in the water, but he'd always keep his feet on the ground.  I didn't force him to swim by throwing him in the lake.  I just encouraged him.   On this trip, he started to swim, and he found it to be so much fun.  He seemed so proud of himself, and I was certainly proud of him.

Parents, I hope you know that proud feeling you have when your child did something for the first time - when they took their first steps, said "mommy," rode a two-wheel bike, or earned an award.  Maybe you've also had a proud feeling when you saw your child do something unique and helpful that you didn't expect - took out the trash without being asked, held a door open for someone, used good manners at a restaurant, or received some kind of recognition from others.  These are a part of growing up, but these things that make you so proud don't just happen on their own.  They happen as a result of the encouragement and opportunities that you provide for your child beforehand.  All the things that occur leading up to the success are vitally important.  Ultimately, it is the child's moment of success, but there is nothing wrong with being proud of your kids as they grow and mature in life.  Jesus did this as well, and he had God and others proud of him for what he was doing:  "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." Luke 2:52 

 Family Discussion Points!

Talk about some firsts and how it went - potty training, riding a bike, day of school, etc.

Discuss "good proud" and "bad proud" in life.

Parents, tell your kids how proud you are of them - be specific about why.

Partners in Parenting

"Kids Can Be the Best Example"

A common phrase in our house to any one of the three kids is, "It's not all about you."  This comes on the heels of a complaint or general unhappiness with what they have to do.  I used the phrase a few times too many for my liking in the past few days, but it sure fit the situations.  As my kids try to learn that they are part of the family, part of the equation (not the answer), part of the consideration, part of the dilemma, part of life, etc., they have some hard lessons to learn in regard to who matters most.  It is not them.  Then I came across a Bible verse that reminded me that kids really do matter ALOT - to God!  In Matthew, Chapter 18, the disciples ask who is the greatest in heaven, and Jesus calls over a little child to stand in their midst and says, "unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (vs 3), "whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest..." (vs 4), "whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me" (vs 5), "See to it that you do not look down on one of these little ones." (vs 10).  Hmm, kids are important in the eyes of God.  They should be in our eyes too, but what Jesus is talking about here is their ability to believe in Him.  Children believe their parents when they are young, but as they grow older, they may start to think they are smarter than their parents.  They think they have life figured out.  Parents know that they don't.  As our kids are part of life for parents, maybe parents should be mindful of their ability to believe.  When it comes to many decisions, kids are only part of the decision.  When it comes to faith, kids may be the best example!

 

Family Discussion Points!

Who believes things easiest in your family - is it the youngest?

Why do you think Jesus talks about kids being the greatest in Matthew 18.

Talk about how each family member is only PART of the whole.  Is it true when a parent says, "It's not all about you!"  Will talking about this help your family?  How?

Partners in Parenting

"Nuances of Language!"

Over Spring Break, our family went camping in the Smokey Mountains for a few days.  We met a wonderful family from Georgia at the campsite next to us.  It was great to make some new friends, but they talk funny!  Actually, they didn't talk funny at all - just different from us.  So did the people at the grocery store, gas station, restaurants, etc.  Here are a few words I loved hearing:  ya'll (singular or plural), perdy instead of pretty, sweet instead of nice or kind, 'dem instead of them, and a few other variations or words.  I was also called “sweetheart” by people all the time at restaurants or stores.  It seems strange to write these words, but it all flowed out naturally by the people accustomed to the dialect of the area. 

This exposure to the nuances of language reminded me of some that our kids have.  "Sick" means really cool (just like it did in the early 90s when it was popular).  Texting itself is a nuance of language.  New words emerge all the time.  New meanings to words emerge just as often.  It will all change, and parents need to keep up with the nuances of language that their kids use.  Language is used to communicate, and communication needs to be clear to effectively foster relationships.  The southern nuances of language were clear to me.  No matter what words get used, it is important to keep communication clear and to the point you are trying to make.  Paul writes about that in his letter to the Corinthian church:  "But in the church I would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct others than ten thousand words in a tongue." I Corinthians 14:19

Family Discussion Points!

What are some cool "slang" words in use right now?  Have your kids help you!!

Figure out this riddle:  I'm talking to my father’s child.  My mom has 4 brothers. I have 2 adopted cousins.  I am an only child, but my family has 4 pets.  Who am I talking to?

Notice how language can be very unclear the more we talk sometimes.  How do you need to communicate better as a family?  Is short and simple better?  What will you do to make that happen?  Discuss this topic together.

(riddle answer:  I am talking to myself)

Partners in Parenting

"Nuances of Language!"

Over Spring Break, our family went camping in the Smokey Mountains for a few days.  We met a wonderful family from Georgia at the campsite next to us.  It was great to make some new friends, but they talk funny!  Actually, they didn't talk funny at all - just different from us.  So did the people at the grocery store, gas station, restaurants, etc.  Here are a few words I loved hearing:  ya'll (singular or plural), perdy instead of pretty, sweet instead of nice or kind, 'dem instead of them, and a few other variations or words.  I was also called “sweetheart” by people all the time at restaurants or stores.  It seems strange to write these words, but it all flowed out naturally by the people accustomed to the dialect of the area. 

This exposure to the nuances of language reminded me of some that our kids have.  "Sick" means really cool (just like it did in the early 90s when it was popular).  Texting itself is a nuance of language.  New words emerge all the time.  New meanings to words emerge just as often.  It will all change, and parents need to keep up with the nuances of language that their kids use.  Language is used to communicate, and communication needs to be clear to effectively foster relationships.  The southern nuances of language were clear to me.  No matter what words get used, it is important to keep communication clear and to the point you are trying to make.  Paul writes about that in his letter to the Corinthian church:  "But in the church I would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct others than ten thousand words in a tongue." I Corinthians 14:19

Family Discussion Points!

What are some cool "slang" words in use right now?  Have your kids help you!!

Figure out this riddle:  I'm talking to my father’s child.  My mom has 4 brothers. I have 2 adopted cousins.  I am an only child, but my family has 4 pets.  Who am I talking to?

Notice how language can be very unclear the more we talk sometimes.  How do you need to communicate better as a family?  Is short and simple better?  What will you do to make that happen?  Discuss this topic together.

(riddle answer:  I am talking to myself)

Partners in Parenting

"What in the World!"

My mom used to say that phrase when I was younger.  She'd say it when she was amazed at something.  It would be common for me to hear from her when flowers would bloom, our dog was in the house instead of outside, a new bird came to the bird feeder, etc.  I found myself saying those very words last week Monday.  I started to not feel well Sunday evening, and by Monday at noon, I was extremely sick and in bed.  I laid there in bed and actually said out loud, "What in the world!"  I was amazed at how normal I had felt just a day earlier, but now I was completely miserable.  A couple hours earlier, I was fine, but I was not fine any more. 

In reading about the events of Holy Week, Peter's denial of Jesus made me think he very well could have said, "What in the world!" right when he realized he had denied Jesus three times.  This is amazing since just a few hours earlier, he told Jesus he wouldn't deny him at all.  In fact, he went as far as offering to die for Jesus if needed.  A few hours later, Peter denied even knowing Jesus at all.  "What in the world" were you thinking, Peter?  (Luke 22:54-62, John 21:15-19)

OK, do you ever feel like that as a parent?  Have your kids amazed you with strokes of "genius?"  Have they ever behaved so poorly you couldn't believe it?  There is amazing good and amazing bad.  Maybe you've even said "What in the world" with your own kids.

 

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share something amazingly good you did as a child.  Something amazingly bad.

Kids - your turn to share something good and bad.

Discuss God's amazing love for us despite our actions.  Use Peter and the Bible references above to give an example of God's love!