Partners in Parenting

“Because I Said So!”

During dismissal the other day, I was calling out kids names based upon the vehicle of their parents.  I do this most every day, and I think I’m getting pretty good at it at this point of the school year.  I even recognized the vehicle of a young student’s aunt on this particular day – or so I thought!! 

I asked the young boy, “Is that your aunt’s grey car in line?”

“Nope. That’s not hers” was his quick response, so I didn’t have him get ready to go home.

As his aunt drove up to pick him up, he very matter-of-factly pointed out to me, “See Mr. Petzold, her car is silver.”

I was laughing so hard inside at his assurance that silver is silver.  It is NOT grey.  I couldn’t tell the difference.  So why couldn’t grey and silver be the same?  Well, because he said so.  I don’t think I could have convinced him if I tried, that a grey car and silver car are essentially the same thing.  I decided to not bother explaining and just enjoy the good laugh for the day.

As a parent, I still use, “Because I said so…” with my kids from time to time.  I generally explain the rationale for rules, consequences, saying “no” to requests they make, etc., but sometimes, I don’t explain myself more than to say, “Because I said so.”  Some people may think I should always explain, but due to the loving and trusting relationship a parent has with their child, an explanation isn’t always needed.  Over time, children learn that their parents have love and good things in mind for them in all situations.  At the heart of the issue is TRUST.  Children trust parents who are consistently creating boundaries that are clear – much more clear than the difference between grey and silver.

The 10 commandments from God are very clear.  I find it interesting that he doesn’t explain why to any of the commandments until the 4^th one:  “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord you God is giving you.”  Exodus 20:12  Before that one, there is no explanation from God, but the Israelites were to obey out of trust for God simply “because He said so.”

Family Discussion Points!

Why are there rules and boundaries in every home?  Are they loving or hurtful?

Is “Because I said so” an acceptable response in your home?  Why or why not?

Why is explaining boundaries important?  Why is not having to explain boundaries important?

Partners in Parenting

“Parental Seasons of Life!”

After church yesterday, Jen, the kids, and I went outside together to cut down all the dead or dying landscape plants.  “Chop, chop, chop, and throw away!”  That pattern repeated itself as we made our way all around the house.  There are a few bushes left and some fall plants enjoying their “time to shine” right now, but our landscape looks pretty bare and ready for winter.  As for the landscape:  Now is the time to cut down.  Winter is the time of dormancy. Spring is a time for new growth.  Summer is a time for beauty.  It is a pattern.

After we worked, I had some alone time to think, and I thought about how parenting has a multitude of “seasons” to endure – not just four!  Actually, all of life has different seasons, but the parenting seasons stick out for me because that is where Jen and I are right now.  So I started to list some seasons I could think of for parents:

Pregnancy and Preparation

Baby comes home

Sleepless nights

Another baby on the way

Accident or illness

Off to school

First report card with “real” grades

A call from the principal’s office

Driving to extra-curricular activities

High School

Driver’s Training then loaning out the car

Graduation

College

Significant others

Engagement

Paying for a wedding

Having in-laws

Becoming grandparents

And there are more things all along the way

Some of these I know from being a parent.  Some I know from observing my own parents.  Nevertheless, there is a time and season for these parental activities, but the season doesn’t last forever.  New seasons come.  We shouldn’t be surprised.  God said it would happen:  “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:”  Ecclesiastes 3:1

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, talk about the “season” of parenting you are now in.  Like it?  If not, remember, seasons change.  Enjoy the season for what it is before it is gone.

Reminisce a little about “seasons” past.

Talk about “seasons” to come, but don’t let it frighten youJ  It will come and go like the rest.

Partners in Parenting

“He Smells Like Mr. Petzold!”

The other day, I had a number of Kindergarten and 1^st Grade students in the hallway at the same time.  One of them gave me a hug.  That hug started a chain reaction of many kids hugging me all at once.  As I talked to the kids a little bit, one girl made a hilarious statement to her friend as they walked away:  “He smells like Mr. Petzold.”  I thought that was such a funny thing to say – especially since I AM MR. PETZOLD.  I mean, I really shouldn’t smell like anyone but myself.  You may be reading this and getting a little concerned reading about smelling people.  However, have you noticed how each person in your family has a little different smell to them. It is their own.

I used to hold by kids, when they were babies, in front of me facing out.  One reason was so they could see the world and everyone in it.  The other reason was so I could smell their head frequently.  And all 3 of my kids smelled different from the other.  Have you noticed that in your kids.  Try it if you haven’t.

Noticing differences in a child’s smell is one thing, but noticing their unique abilities, talents, skills, dispositions, and aptitudes is another thing.  Notice those things too.  God has made each person different, and it is our job to notice those differences as parents.  When we notice those differences, we can help our kids grow up aware of who they are, who they aren’t, and who God made them to be in His world.  So tonight, take a sniff, and then watch carefully to notice their uniqueness in all things.  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; you works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

Family Discussion Points!

Here’s a goofy one:  Give each person in your family the “sniff test” tonight.  Take notice!

Talk about unique physical traits of each person.  Unique personal traits (organized, sloppy, serious, happy-go-lucky, calm, active, etc.)

Make a point to talk about God’s unique design for each person.  He has made us.  We are HIS!!