Partners in Parenting

“I Just Don’t Fit In!”

I was in the airport last week waiting for a morning flight.  I hadn’t had a cup of coffee yet, so I was happy to see a Starbucks right next to the gate I was to use for my flight.  I stood in line behind about a dozen people looking for their first cup of coffee too.  Well, I soon found out that I was the only person in line who actually wanted a cup of coffee.  I heard some crazy things coming out of the mouths of customers:

“Frappa…mocha...espressa...latta...two pumps something…ice-chilled…drizzled and frothed something…non-fat…venti…and I think someone even asked for a shot of something (liquor??? and it was 7:15am). 

Seriously, I couldn’t figure out what would finally come across that counter.  The thing I understood most was when people asked for a sleeve for their cup.  I just don’t go to Starbucks much at all, and if I do, I order what I want – COFFEE.

As I neared the counter, I felt kind of embarrassed that I was about to order a medium coffee.  How lame would that sound after all those other orders.  

I ordered. 

The nice lady behind the counter said, “That’s it?”

I replied, “Yes, just coffee – black.”

She kind of smiled, poured the cup, and stated the price.  I paid, and I walked away.

I felt like I didn’t fit in while getting a cup of coffee.  And it made me think about kids – not just kids today, but kids throughout history.  Someone not fitting in is not new for kids or adults.  There are situations and places where we don’t fit in.  I was reminded how important it is to remember where I do “fit in.”

Through faith in Jesus, I am a part of the people of God.  I am a child of the creator of the universe. I am a Christian.  I am a sheep of the Good Shepherd.  I “fit in” perfectly where it really matters. 

Parents, fitting in is something we desire for our children, but sometimes we have to help them remember how important it is to “fit in” in the right places.  “Fitting in” in the wrong places is useless.  Even Jesus didn’t always fit in!!

“Again the Jews pick up stones to stone him.”  John 10:31

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share a time from your childhood when you wanted to fit in with others.

Kids, talk about the pressures of fitting in that you face today.

Why didn’t Jesus fit in with some of the people from his time on earth?  What is meant by fitting in in the right places and the wrong places?

Partners in Parenting

“Rebellion is GOOD!”

As of last week Friday, I announced that I am “in full rebellion” of winter.  On Friday, I didn’t wear a coat to school.  I chose a wind breaker instead.  I vowed that I am done with coats for the year, but I’d still wear jackets, hats, and gloves.  I’m tired of the cold, the snow, the wind chill, the time indoors, etc.  I’m done going along with winter, so I’m basically rebelling against it.

OK, I lasted through Saturday.  Sunday, the coat and the whole rebellion thing went by the wayside.  Looking at the below zero temperatures coming our way the next few days even further convinced me to give up on this rebellion I had started.

This short-lived rebellion reminded me of parenting.  Kids rebel against parents all the time, but the rebellion isn’t always against parents.  It is many times against the things parents stand for:  conforming behavior to the norm, being responsible, acting a certain way, or believing as parents believe.  Part of the “wiring” in children is to test limits, discover, challenge, wonder, and in essence, rebel against certain conventions forced upon them.  Many parents think a rebellious child is a bad thing.  BUT, hold on a minute…

I spoke to a large group of students and parents a few years back with a simple message:  Rebellion is GOOD.  You should have seen the looks on the faces of the kids (smirks galore) and parents (fear and trepidation).  I begged the kids to live out their teenage years in full rebellion…of the right things!!  The problem is NOT the rebellion.  The problem is what is being rebelled against.  Here are some examples:

Rebel against your parents:                            BAD

Rebel against racism:                                     GOOD

Rebel against going to worship:                      BAD

Rebel against loving your enemy:                  BAD

Rebel against hatred:                                      GOOD

Rebel against hurting others with words:        GOOD

Rebel against sin and temptation:                   GOOD

Rebel against God and His ways:                  BAD

The Bible is full of people who rebelled against evil and sinfulness to follow God’s ways.  The Bible also teaches us of how people continued to rebel against Him and find destruction waiting for them.  They rebelled against the wrong things.

God told Ezekiel to tell the Israelites to turn back to God, but they didn’t.  “You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious.”  Ezekiel 2:7

Rebelliousness isn’t bad, but rebelliousness against God is bad.  I believe rebellion is good!

Family Discussion Points!

Was it smart for me to decide to rebel against winter?  What are the consequences?

As a family, come up with a few things it is a good idea to rebel against?  What are some bad things to rebel against and their consequences?

Why do all people, even Christians, sometimes rebel against God’s ways?

Partners in Parenting

“HONK --- Nothing!?”

I was coming home Sunday evening, and I was very exhausted.  I just wanted to sit down and relax for a bit – even take a nap.  As I drove down the street in our subdivision, once again, a truck was parked on one side of the street while a Jeep parked on the other side of the street.  Remember, I’m tired.  I just want to go rest a bit.  Well, due to all the snow piles on the side of the street, I had to very carefully pass between those two vehicles.  I had less than 4 inches to spare on both sides before my mirrors would hit theirs.  Frustrated, I said, “I should honk the horn so they can get out here and deal with this.  This is ridiculous that they could park anywhere, but they choose where a vehicle can hardly pass by.”  Someone from my family encouraged me to honk the horn, so I did…for 1.5 seconds.  That’s when it happened, HONK --- Nothing!  I was tired, frustrated, and ready to be home, but I let my frustration get the better of me.  The horn on my truck doesn’t work any longer.  That is amazing, since I never use it.  Nonetheless, it is broken and needs to be fixed!

I went home, parked my truck, and thought about the broken horn.  The horn needs fixing, but so do I.  I let frustration gain control over me.  I let anger dictate my decision.  I thought of myself before my neighbor.  Basically, I messed up!  Off to the dealer soon to get it fixed.

I am in need of fixing too.  And like my horn, I can’t do the fixing.  Someone else has to do that.  It is Jesus who fixes all my imperfections and struggles.  He does this through forgiveness.  The prophet Isaiah wrote about Jesus long ago:  “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.” Isaiah 61:1b

We can’t fix our own sinfulness, but Jesus can!  I may not have a working horn right now, but thankfully, I have a fully functioning Savior who takes away my sin!

Family Discussion Points!

Do you have any “broken” parts on your vehicle?  In your house?

Do you have any brokenness (sin) in you?  As a family, admit to being broken and needing Jesus.  This is true of everyone, but it is good to affirm each other in this.

Who in the family is best at fixing things?  Worse?