Partners in Parenting

“What Season Is It?”

With the bitter cold we’ve been experiencing, I’ve been looking ahead at the 10-day forecast quite a bit.  My hope is to be encouraged by looking ahead at the warm weather coming our way soon.  I mean, really, March is only a few days away, and March means Spring.  Spring means warmer weather.  Warmer weather mean more time spent outside.  I’ve been looking ahead with lots of discouragement though.  March is going to get here, but the warmer days don’t really seem to be coming with it.  I said to myself yesterday while looking at the forecast, “What season is it, anyway?”  I was merely expressing my frustration with the continual cold weather.  Just then, my son sent me a text message.

That reminded me that parenting has different seasons.  I watch parents arrive at school every day.  Some turn left and head down to Kindergarten – 5^th Grade.  Others turn right toward 6^th Grade – 8^th Grade.  These students are very different based upon their season of life.  All parents are experiencing very different “seasons” of their role as parents.  The constant is that parents are still parents (yes, even when children are 35 or older), and your children will always be your children (yes, even when children are 35 or older).  The “seasons” of growing up change.  The “seasons” of parenting your children change.  The constant is that parents and children are forever connected in a loving relationship that needs to be fostered in order to endure as the “seasons” change.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Family Discussion Points!

Discuss what stages or seasons each person in the family is in right now.  (Parents, I pray your kids don’t tell you that you are just plain oldJ)

Talk about how growing up changes for kids.  Parents, this is a good time to listen more than anything.

Talk about how parenting changes as kids grow up.  Kids, this is a good time to listen more than anything.

Talk about the “season” that is ahead in the next few years like:  Kindergarten, middle school, high school, college, more freedom, beginning a sport or activity, etc.

Partners in Parenting

Partners in Parenting

“Asking Permission!”

“Mom, can I have a cookie?” 

“Dad, can I go to my friend’s house?”

“Is it OK if I clean up my toys later?  C’mon mom, pleeeeeeeeaaaaase!”

“Dad, can I drive your truck?  Just a little bit in the parking lot after church?”

These are just examples of kids asking for permission.  Asking permission is a very good thing because it helps kids avoid getting into trouble that they might not see coming.  I once went to a friend’s house when I was in 6^th grade.  The problem was not going to my friend’s house.  The problem was that I went without asking permission.  (Remember, there were no cell phones when I was in 6^th grade)  Another time, I drove the car to a favorite fishing spot without asking permission.  My parents weren’t too happy about that incident - especially since I was 14 at the time (country life is very different than city life, but it was still wrong to do).  Giving permission to do something is granting freedom to your child.  Parents grant permission based upon what they know about the situation while children may not have any idea whether the idea is good or bad.  Asking permission also communicates respect to the parent by the child.  My dog, Zeke, is trained to ask permission by sitting down.  Here is a picture of him looking at me while asking permission to get up on the couch next to my wife.  The fact that he is asking me is also communicating respect for me.

God’s Word is the ultimate place to find out what we have permission to do and what we do not have permission to do.  We have permission to love, help, support, act kindly toward others, etc.  We do not have permission to hurt, demean, covet, speak poorly about others, etc.  We have permission to speak the truth with grace.  We do not have permission to waiver or sway away from God’s Word or the commands found in it. I love how the Bible says to obey parents.  That obedience communicates respect.  Asking permission is actually a very important thing for children to do!

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”  Ephesians 6:1

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, tell your children how you feel about them asking for permission to do things.  Does it feel good to know they respect you?  Could this improve in your home??

How do people ask permission in your family?  Do they get “sweet eyes” and a soft voice to try to sway someone’s decision?  Or other tactics, of course.  Parents, how does that feel?

Talk about the importance of obeying parents, and you might want to look up Ephesians 6:1-4.