Partners in Parenting

“Teaching Kids through Challenge!”

I had the opportunity to go to Outdoor Education with the 6^th Graders last week.  I was there for an afternoon, but I got a real big lesson on parenting.  Here’s what happened:

I went to the high ropes course with a small group of students.  They received safety instructions, proper climbing equipment, and a helmet.  The students were then allowed to get “strapped in” to the safety system and explore the high ropes course on their own.  There were 2 levels to the course.  The lower level was about 15 feet in the air.  The upper level was about 25 feet in the air.  Some kids just took off for the upper level.  Other students proceeded rather cautiously on the lower level.  Others appeared very confident on one section, but had to “rest” to get up enough courage to go to the next section – the lower level had about 8 sections as did the upper level.  I joined parents in helping coach the kids around the different sections.  But not the staff from the camp!!!  What taught me a lesson was the response by the staff from the camp to kids who were “stuck” on any level or section. 

Here is a normal kind of conversation from that day:

Child:                “I can’t make it across this section.  Help me.”

Me:                   “Just start by placing your left foot…”

Staff member:   “You can do it.” Or “Think it through.” Or “Then just go back the way you came.”

I wanted to be so helpful, that I was actually teaching a poor lesson.  I was teaching “you can’t do it without help.”  The staff was teaching “your next move is a risk you’ll have to take.”  I wanted to be helpful, but I was, at some level, teaching kids that they couldn’t do it.  The staff was teaching (or empowering might be the best word) them to work through their own challenges and obstacles in life.  I’m thankful I realized this before doing too much more “coaching” from on the ground. 

The Bible lets us know that challenge and suffering is good.  “We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3,4  Letting those kids suffer a bit with fear and overcome each challenge was a much better way to help them. 

My lesson on parenting was basically that I am a better help to my children when I let them suffer a bit and overcome challenges and disappointment than if I continue to rescue them from everything difficult in life. 

Family Discussion Points!

Do you (mom and dad) rescue your kids from difficult times too often or quickly?

Kids, do you struggle through homework when you don’t understand it, or do you just go ask a parent or teacher right away? What is better?

Talk with your children about the good things that struggles and challenges bring to a child.