Partners in Parenting 10/27/15

Partners in Parenting

“Parents – Rescue Your Kids NOW!”

At our conference last week, I was reminded that we need to rescue our kids right away.  There is not a moment to lose.  They are in need of help that only the adults in their life can give.  They MUST be rescued, and our keynote speaker, Tim Elmore, reminded us of many reasons that we need to take action.  We need to rescue them from laziness, narcissism, complacency, lack of creativity, poor interpersonal skills, and a host of others they have learned from…well…um…US.  Yes, us!  The adults in their lives have made it too easy for too long and many kids today are ill-prepared for the future.  He gave some great advice.  He said we should teach kids to:

Struggle and overcome

Wonder and solve a problem

Ask questions

Play outside without an electronic device

Serve someone else for a change

Think creatively

Deal with bored moments

Talk to people in person and on the phone

Take responsibility for their actions

Produce their entertainment instead of receive their entertainment

And many other things that ultimately rescue them from a very, very difficult future.

“…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope.”  Romans 5:3,4

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, are you rescuing your kids from future difficulties by allowing them to struggle now, OR are you making things easy on them now, hoping it will stay that way their whole life through?  (you may not like your answer, but that is OK!  We all struggle with it.)

Do your kids get too much screen time, and therefore, lack creativity to play on their own?

Kids, what would be 3 things you would do if you had to spend three hours outside without a phone or electronic device?  Do them and see if it was fun.  Were you creative in the time spent?

Partners in Parenting 10/20/15

“Suddenly Aware!”

Last weekend, I had a very fortunate opportunity to find myself standing motionless with a female deer only 6 yards from me.  The deer and I were unaware of each other’s presence as I was walking in the corn row and she was walking along the edge of the corn.  Thankfully, I was suddenly aware of her before she became aware of me.  She walked to within 6 yards of me.  I could see her lick her nose, flare her nostrils, blink her eyes, and even twitch her ear once to get a flying bug off her.  It was so amazing to be that close.  However, at only 6 yards, she sensed something wasn’t normal in that corn, looked in my direction, and calmly trotted away.  Once she was suddenly aware of my presence, it changed her course of travel.

Here is a similar picture, compliments of author, Reggie Joyner:

 

I was at a conference last week, and I was suddenly aware of the fleeting time I have with my children.  I have a 6^th Grader at Trinity, and here is the reality:

He is 77% finished with his time in elementary school.  High school is just around the corner. He is 2/3 finished with his life on earth before high school graduation.  Only 1/3 left, and he’ll be off to college and no longer at home.

As he gets older, I seem to see less of him due to his involvement in things outside of home.

I see him less now than before, and that will probably continue to be the trend.

And finally…I need to tell other parents this important information.

I realized a few things.  My time on earth is unknown.  My time with my children is fleeting, and it is precious.  My time with my kids is now, and I better be serious about how I spend my time.

I want all our parents to be “suddenly aware” of this because, like the doe I saw, once we are aware, it might change our course of travel…in parenting our kids.

“You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”  James 4:14b

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share a time in your life that went by very quickly now that you can look back.

Kids, tell your parents about a time that you got really close to a person or animal without them seeing you.

Parents and kids, talk about how valuable time is in building and maintaining a relationship with God and each other.  We will probably never get as much time together as we want!!!

Partners in Parenting

“Follow the Leader to Love!”

I really enjoy playing “Follow the Leader” or “Simon Says” with kids.  I may be a bit old for simple childhood games like this, but I’m really a “big kid” at heart!  I love tricking kids during “Simon Says” using a few standby tactics that will usually trip up about 80% of the participants.  The other 20% of the kids will usually fall out with the one tactic I save for the end – speed.  If I get going through commands really quickly, the kids get going so fast that they can’t keep themselves from messing up.  Parents, you can try this at home, and you’ll see that speed is tough to overcome.  I do the same thing without words during “Follow the Leader.”  Just go fast, and kids will struggle to keep up. 

The same is true for many things in life – like parenting children.  The parent is the “Leader” or “Simon” to a child.  It is difficult to “Follow the Leader” who is franticly paced or barking multiple commands so quickly that the follower feels lost and confused.  If “Simon” says too much, too fast, there is a chance that a child will tune out most of what is said.

This week, I had three 8^th Grade students helping me put together the new tables and chairs in the lobby.  We worked side by side.  They imitated every step I did as their leader.  Everything turned out great, but I had to be sure they were following me every step of the way.  Therefore, I took my time and didn’t rush.

Kids are following parents, but I wonder if parents are going so fast, so often, that kids are struggling to be able to imitate them.  I want to encourage parents to slow down life as much as you can so you have more time to love your spouse and your kids.  Parents need someone to follow too.  I hope, for the sake of your kids following you, it is God you are following as your Leader.  It isn’t easy, but it is good to do so!

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love…” Ephesians 5:1-2a

                                                       
Family Discussion Points!

Play “Simon Says” and “Follow the Leader” often this week.  Let everyone have a chance being Simon or the Leader.

Parents, talk to each other about how to show your kids love.  Everyone has a different “Love Language,” so it is helpful to know how to show your kids love best.

 

Partners in Parenting

“Getting Noticed!”

I believe most people enjoy being noticed for something they have done well or accomplished.  I believe most people enjoy a compliment on a new hairdo, project completed, outfit, or other noticeable act.  I believe most people like getting noticed by others because getting noticed seems to indicate that a person stands out from the rest.  This can help people feel important in a world so full of ordinary people doing ordinary things. 

Parents, do you ever feel like a regular mom or average dad?  I do.  Have you ever thought that you are “just trying to figure out all this parenting stuff?”  I have.  Have you ever wondered if you are just totally messing your kids up and praying they can fix themselves enough to be happy and successful adults?  I have.

I think most parents don’t feel they are deserving of either the “Mom of the Month” or “Dad of the Decade” Award (if there were such awards).  Most of us just work hard to do the best we can for our kids.  That is our perspective.

But every once in a while… our kids give us their perspective.  Have you heard something like this:

“Thanks Mom!  You’re the best!”

“I appreciate the help, Dad.  Nobody could have helped me like that.”

“You are the greatest cook in the world!”

“You are so awesome!  I’m glad you are my parent.”

The point I’m getting at is that parents are constantly “getting noticed” by their kids.  Parents are the unique people God has placed in a child’s life in order to influence them as they grow.  I saw this tree on our playground last week, and I love the fact that one branch is different and easy to notice from the rest.  It is red when all the others are still green.  It reminded me of how children see their parents – different from all the rest! 

                                                          

Family Discussion Points!

Kids, tell each of your parents something you really appreciate about your parents.

Everyone, try to give each family member at least on compliment every day this week.

Discuss whether God wants us to stand out to the world around us or whether He wants us to blend in with everyone else.  Why do you think what you think?