October 17, 2011

Partners in Parenting

A Good Kind of Pain!

It is Monday, and my body hurts like crazy today.  I woke up yesterday sore too.  On Saturday, I played about an hour and a half of football and baseball with some young kids.  It was great fun, but my body reminded me on Sunday morning that I was not prepared ahead of time for that activity.  Then, Jen and I cleaned up our landscape plants that were a bit overgrown all Sunday afternoon.  Five hours of pulling, clipping, bagging, raking, hoeing, etc.  My body must not think too much of my intelligence.  After all, it (my body) already told me I had overexerted the day before.  Yes, I'm in some pain today, but yes, it was worth it.  Playing football and baseball was fun.  Looking at our landscape Sunday night was very rewarding.  As I felt the pain settling in before bed Sunday night, I thought about how pain isn't always a bad thing.  I could have skipped playing football and baseball, but I would have missed out on fun and building relationships.  I could have skipped working on the landscape, but it wouldn't look nice like it does now.  As a parent, I need to remember that disciplining my kids creates pain in their life - but it is a good kind of pain.  It is good because it helps mold their character so that, like playing football, positive relationships can be experienced.  It is good because it helps mold their character so that, like landscaping, a more beautiful thing results.  God disciplines us because He loves us, and we, as parents, need to discipline our kids because we love them. 

Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Family Discussion Points!

Share a few times when you overexerted yourself and were sore the next day.

Talk about the positive sides to experiencing pain.  (Pain is a great teacher, isn't it?)

Discuss the importance of discipline in life in various aspects (exercise, promptness, reliability, good choices, etc.)

Develop a discipline that you want to start as a family.  It may be painful to do, but it will be worth it.  (Family devotions, game night, outside walk once/week, etc.)

Partners in Parenting

Changing Your Role!

The duties of parents are so vast that it is hard to even try to list them all.  I just know that your role changes with many factors including the age of your child, which child you are interacting with, the nature of the issue at hand, etc.  Parents fulfill a very different role for a 6 month old child than they do for a 6 year old child – or a 16 year old young adult!  Changing your role is necessary because some issues need you to be forceful and direct while other times, it is entirely appropriate that you are soft, comforting, and reassuring.  As you read this, I’d like you to consider how your role changes as you fulfill all that it means to be a parent.  You may think, “WOW, I’m really confusing my kid because of how I have so many different roles in their life.  Take comfort, you are not confusing them.  You are meeting their needs to the best of your ability based on where they are at today.  Their needs are very different and changing (and they’ll continue to be that way).  Your children are very different.  Each circumstance is very different.  However, you need to be a constant for your children in the fact that you are here to love them no matter what.  Your role will change, but your love never will.  Make sure they know that, and make sure they know that it is the same way with Jesus.  “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  John 15:13

Family Discussion Points!

Parents - list all your roles (parent, spouse, employee, etc.)

Kids - list all your roles (student, teammate, friend, helper, etc.)

Talk about roles you used to play for your child (like diaper changer) that you don't have to do any longer.

Talk about some roles you think are coming in the future.

Discuss how roles will change, but your love for each other never will!!

Partners in Parenting

A "Run-In with the Law"

I have to admit that I had a "run-in with the Law" on Saturday night.  Here's what happened:

I went to the farm where I grew up to enjoy participating in opening day of bow season here in Michigan.  I hunted until dark, walked back to the house, and went in to see my dad.  My dad came outside just as I was ready to open the door.  He said, "Man, am I glad to see you.  I was worried something happened out there."  I didn't really understand why he was so concerned, but he said it was because I wasn't back right away when it got dark.  We talked for a little bit before a Deputy Sheriff pulled into the driveway.  He jumped out of his truck and asked me if I was the missing person.  I couldn't believe it!  My dad had called 911 to report me missing since I wasn't back right at the time it became dark.  I had to give my personal information as a report needed to be filed, but I was otherwise "free to go!"  As I drove home, I was reminded of how I've had other experiences with police officers in my life.  They helped me remember to obey laws to keep myself and others safe.  That's when I connected it to God's Law in Scripture.  I was "free to go" on Saturday night because I hadn't done anything wrong, BUT I am "free to go" to heaven even though I've done everything wrong in life.  How is that possible - faith in Jesus Christ!  Jesus has paid the price for all my sins.  That is true for all Christians.  Freedom is found in Christ for all the times we fail as we have a "run-in with His law."

Romans 8:1-2 says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share a few stories of your "run-ins with the law."  (No, this won't be perceived as a "license" to go break the law too.)

Talk about what it means to be "free to go" when you haven't done something wrong vs. "free to go" for eternity when you have done something wrong - sin.

Discuss:  Is the law good or bad?

September 26, 2011

Partners in Parenting

Great Job Being Illogical!

Yesterday, I was reading Luke Chapter 5:1-11 where Jesus calls His first disciples - Simon (later named Peter by Jesus), James, and John.  Jesus asked Simon to do something very illogical.  Here's a quick recap of the account: 

Simon's been fishing all night without catching anything.  In the morning, he comes in to clean his nets, but Jesus jumps into his boat and has him go out into the water a little way.  Jesus proceeds to use Simon's boat as a pulpit, if you will, to teach the people.  Then, Jesus tells Simon to go into deeper water and let down his nets.  Simon has a very logical response since he makes his living as a fisherman.  He says in vs. 5, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything..."  Now he finishes with a very illogical statement.  "...But because you say so, I will let down the nets." 

As I read this willingness to follow the command of Jesus on Simon's part, I was reminded of how living out my faith as a Christian is not always logical.  The world’s logic is NOT God's logic.  The world says "get even."  God says "forgive."  The world says "blame someone else."  God says "ask for forgiveness."  The world says, "you have to get ahead in life."  God says, "because of your faith, you already are 'ahead' in life now and for eternity."  As a parent, I get so caught up in the worldly logic that I dismiss the Godly logic.  I want to focus my life and my parenting efforts on being illogical to the world!

Family Discussion Points!

Give an example of worldly logic and Godly logic to the following scenarios:

                I just got pushed by a classmate at recess, so I...

                Someone sent me a mean text message, so I decided to...

Talk about forgiveness for when we follow the world's logic.  Everyone needs to know there is forgiveness with God.  God's love is that great!

Think of something illogically nice to do for someone else.  Do it!

September 19, 2011

Partners in Parenting

Mi Riting Ain't So Gud!

If you can decipher that title, you might be thinking, "What kind of knuckleheaded principal do we have around here."  The title is actually, "My writing is not very good."  That's if I write using proper English.  I share this with you, parents, because my eyes were opened to the writing habits of our kids the other day.  With Mr. Brown gone to outdoor education, I taught 7th Grade math on Wednesday through Friday.  The students had to write a story problem based on the information provided to them.  They did a great job with the math concept, but I had to do either minor or major editing to each student's three sentences.  I helped with capital letters, punctuation, run on sentences, inverted word order, misspelled words, etc.  I informed the class that writing is important for getting into college, but many times, it is also a requirement of getting into high school.  I also let them know that I sit on a committee that gives awards of over $125,000 each year to individuals who must write an application for the money.  The poor writers never get the money.  The texting world has given us all lots of freedom to condense our words to create meaning, so it must be textings fault, right?  Wrong!  Did any of you take shorthand in high school?  I did not, but all my brothers and sisters did.  They still had to write properly on their assignments whether they knew shorthand or not.  The truth is we are not requiring it, and the kids know it.  I want to have you join the teachers and me in helping our kids be successful in every way with better writing habits and abilities.  When they put their name on their writing, it should represent their thoughts well.  Even the apostle Paul recognized the importance of placing his name on his own writing in Colossians 4:18:  "I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand."

Family Discussion Points!

Have the whole family work together to edit this sentence (or is it two sentences): 

i want to really go to the store to buys some candie then i will ete it fast, and

i won't share none with my bruthers.

Work on this together, and see how you do based on the answer below.  The way I did it is not the only way to correct it. 

Discuss texting habits that transfer into our daily writing.  Where does it happen?

Discuss the difference between formal writing and just getting information down (grocery list is just information, letter writing is more formal)

These are all things we are teaching at school, and we'll continue to teach it.  Any help at home will be a benefit to the students.  Thanks.

     A possible answer:  I really want to go to the store to buy some candy.  I will eat it quickly, and I won't share any of the candy with my brothers. 

(underlined words denote a correction made - I also excluded the word "then" as it has no value in the sentence)

Monday, September 12, 2011

A Truly High Position!

This past weekend, I took my son, Logan (age 7 if you don't know him) up north to my in-laws cabin to go fishing.  It was just the two of us on an overnight trip.  Pretty special time for both of us!  I had been fishing on Houghton Lake previously this summer and found a few holes that produces plenty of good-sized walleye, bluegills, and even a smallmouth bass.  We were pretty excited as we cruised across the lake in the cool of the morning.  Before long, we were rather hot under the clear sky with not a single fish in the boat.  We tried moving to other spots, but we still couldn't get a fish to bite.  Finally, Logan saw my bobber dip into the water indicating a bite.  He grabbed my pole and pulled in a small perch.  We were excited to have at least caught one fish, and I kept waiting for him to want to be done fishing.  He didn't ask to stop, and he seemed to completely enjoy the time alone on the boat.  He was happy, but I was a bit frustrated.  I wanted to find some fish for him, and I wanted him to find our trip "successful" as fishermen.  After four hours, we headed back to the cabin.  As we pulled up to the dock, Logan's words hit me pretty hard:  "It was a great day fishing, and at least I caught one."  I  realized at that moment that the real value was being father and son, not great fishermen.  He focused on being together as I tried to find him some fish.  We talked, joked, laughed, taught, learned, dared, and wondered together on that boat.  I was humbled as a fisherman, but I was reminded of my high position as Logan's dad.  Being a dad is a much higher position in life than a good fisherman.  That's true for all parents.  That's also true for all Christians with our Heavenly Father.  James 1:9 reminded me of this:  "The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position."  (NOTE:  This refers to our status as Christians having a high position due to our acknowledgement of our sin and forgiveness.)

Family Discussion Points!

Talk together about humbling events in your life:  losing a job, getting cut from a team, getting a poor grade, getting embarrassed, etc.

Think of as many "high positions" as you can in worldly terms:  president, boss, etc.

Think of as many "high positions" as you can in Godly terms:  forgiven sinner, child, Father, Mother, Friend, etc.

Talk about how to remind each other as a family of what is important and what is not.

Partners in Parenting, September 1, 2011

Beautiful and Ugly!

In case you didn't know, we moved into a home about a mile away from school this summer.  One of the features of the home is that it is beautifully landscaped.  There are a variety of flowers, bushes, vines, and other pretty things I can't even categorize.  There were no weeds, everything was mulched nicely, potted plants had been watered, etc. As I looked at the house the beauty of the landscape caught my attention, but then I went behind the shed in the backyard to have my attention "caught" in a whole different way.  There is a space back there with weeds over my head.  There were vine-like weeds along the ground, climbing the fence, and seeking to intrude on the landscape.  It was a mess.  But it couldn't be seen unless you walk back there.  I thought about how our lives are kind of like that - we look real good to the outside world, but we have this mess inside us as we take a deeper look at things.  The mess is sin, and messes need to be cleaned up.  God cleaned up the sin in us by sending Jesus to make us clean again through His death and resurrection.  Romans 8:1,2 reminds us, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."  Maybe have your kids help you pick weeds from your landscape this weekend and remind them that they are getting rid of the bad stuff (sin) just like Christ has done for them - and you!

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about the reality that we are all sinful, but perfect before God due to Jesus' forgiving us of everything.  (Big concept, but very true)

Parents, share some major messes you got into when you were a child.  It's OK for them to know you messed up too.

Plan a time when you will work together as a family picking weeds out of your landscape making it beautiful in order to identify with Christ making us clean.