Partners in Parenting

It's NOT A Joke!

OK, you can "write me up" for pestering my kids if you want, but at home, I continually ask my kids, "Do you know what the longest distance in the world is?"  They just roll their eyes, and tell me to stop bugging them.  Seriously, do you know the answer?  At my house, it is the distance between the sink and the dishwasher - yep, that's it.  Now, they are only 6 inches apart, but you'd think it was a million miles based on how well my lovely children will dutifully take their dishes to the sink after every meal and place them in the sink... and life goes on.  They even walk past the dishwasher to get to the sink, but not one thing gets into the dishwasher.  WHY CAN'T THEY PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER?  Honestly!  We even ask the kids to clear the table on occasion, and they are happy to help.  If we ask them to clear the table AND load the dishwasher, they moan like crazy and aren't willing to help.  That distance is really short.  The dishwasher is right there, so why do they act like it is so far away?  Well, God's forgiveness is right there for all who believe, yet don't we sometimes act like it is too far away to utilize it.  Why do we think forgiveness is so far away?  Maybe for the same reason my kids don't load the dishwasher - it takes a little extra effort.  Utilizing the dishwasher means loading it.  Utilizing God's forgiveness means repenting of our sins. 

Load the dishwasher = clean kitchen

Ask for forgiveness = clean heart

Part of understanding God's unconditional love is confessing our sin with the assurance they He will never reject us or deny us the forgiveness of ALL our sins.  And the distance He removes our sin really IS the longest distance on earth. 

Psalm 103:11,12 "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about the chores the kids don't do that would be so helpful.

Share some stories about the longest family trip you've ever taken.

Share a time of repenting for sins and reminding every family member that God, through Jesus' death and resurrection, has removed every sin from them. 

Partners in Parenting

Avoiding Consequences!

This past weekend, I sat with my son watching a football game.  The TV announcer shared that a player was not allowed to start the game because he was late for a team meeting earlier in the week.  My son was really surprised that such a consequence would be given to a professional athlete making millions of dollars.  I simply stated that I wasn't that surprised because consequences are a part of every person's life.  I don't know about this athlete's circumstances for being late on this particular occasion, but every consequence has a precursor.  In other words, something happens first to get a consequence.  So, how do our kids typically try to avoid consequences?  As I work with kids here at school, they usually try to change, alter, or lie about the behavior that brought about the consequence.  When that happens, I'm not happy, but I'm not surprised either.  That's been the natural response since Adam and Eve.  Genesis 3:11 has God asking Adam if he ate the fruit off the tree he was commanded not to eat.  Genesis 3:12 has Adam’s avoidance technique response, "The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."  Adam didn't avoid the consequence of being thrown out of the garden.  Our kids will try to avoid consequences all the time.  It is normal, but it is also sinful.  I'd encourage you to provide consequences even when your kids "wiggle" to avoid them.

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share a normal consequence you got when growing up.  Share a really bad one.

Parents, share a consequence you can get at your place of employment.

Talk about ways people avoid consequences.  What's wrong with doing that (it is dishonest)?

Partners in Parenting

"You get what you get, so don't throw a fit."

A wonderful teacher I use to work with would tell her Kindergartners the phrase, "You get what you get, so don't throw a fit" whenever it applied - usually snack time fit perfectly.  Her point was to be grateful for what you get from someone else instead of upset about it.  I'm reminded of this phrase because it is Christmastime.  My family always goes to Jen's grandma's house on Christmas morning.  Years ago, someone in the family, who was a little immature, would open her gifts and let the giver know right away whether she liked it and would keep it or return it.  I was dumbfounded along with the rest of the family.  She needed to have that Kindergarten teacher in her life!!!  Gratefulness is a matter of the heart on the part of the receiver.  Consider how grateful your family is this Christmas for the gift you have received from God - a Savior!  Jesus born in Bethlehem, Mary riding a donkey, Joseph didn't divorce her, no room in the inn, shepherds in the field, angels in the sky, manger for a bed, etc. - wow, what an amazing account.  BUT it is just the beginning.  Jesus began life on earth in Bethlehem, but he eventually brought things "full circle" with Jerusalem, Golgotha, and the empty tomb!  At Christmas, that is what we get - a Savior.  Nothing else matters, so don't throw a fit.  "She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."  Matthew 1:21

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about gratefulness.

Spend as much time talking about Easter this Christmas as you can.

Talk about what you want for Christmas like you always do, but also talk about what you already received - a Savior.

Partners in Parenting

Christmas Stress!!!!

We can probably all identify with some level of stress at Christmastime.  Whether it is your schedule, finances, shopping, parties, to do list, etc., Christmas can be stressful.  Christmas is time to celebrate the birth of our Savior in Bethlehem so long ago.  We have made it so much more than that, and in the process, created stress that we don't need.  I love how Jesus handled a very stressful situation in the book of John.  He just bends down and writes on the ground.  He gives himself time to think, gain perspective, and prepare an appropriate response.  The Pharisees are trying to trap him so they can get him thrown into jail, and he takes time to collect his thoughts.  Stressful situation --- great tactic!  A few years ago, I heard that it is wise to never share your first thought, and instead, always share your second thought.  Great advice, and I think Jesus modeled it perfectly in John 8:6 and 8:  "(6) They (Pharisees) were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.  (8) Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground."  Read the whole account to get a better picture of the stressful event.  Let's celebrate Christmas and share our second thought whenever we feel stressed in life!

Family Discussion Points!

What is the most stressful part of Christmas for each family member?  Can you eliminate any of those stressors?  If so, why don't you?

Is going to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day stressful?  Why?  How can you reduce the stress without skipping church?

What is the problem with sharing your first thought (most of the time anyway)?

Partners in Parenting

Thankfulness for what you DON'T HAVE!

This week, we'll celebrate thanksgiving.  Many people will pause to thank God for what they have!  That is a great thing to do.  However, I think it would be great to also consider the things you DON'T HAVE for which you can be thankful.  Can you be thankful that you don't have:

• too little food to feed your family
• a serious disease like cancer or something else
• to sleep in your car or outside due to homelessness
• a lack of heat in the cold months
• a lack of medical care to keep you healthy
• nobody to call a friend
• to live in a country without the freedom you enjoy
• to fear persecution or death for being a Christian

And the list could go on and on.  Now, there is no guarantee that some of those things I've listed don't apply to some people reading this, but my purpose is to just help you think of things you DON'T HAVE as you give thanks this year.  Talk about it as a family!  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Partners in Parenting

A Giving Attitude!
On Thursday last week, a grandparent of one of our students shared a wonderful story with me.  She was in the lobby waiting to pick up her grandchild, and she observed the bake sale happening.  A first grade student purchased some "goodies" for herself.  Then, she noticed this grandparent watching the bake sale, and asked her, "Do you need some money to buy something?  I have some left.  You can have it."  The grandparent declined the money, but she was floored by the generosity of such a young child.  I'm so thankful she shared the story with me because it made me remember to have a giving attitude in all things in life.  Giving my family more of my time...  Giving my time to help others...  Giving my money to help those in need...  Giving my abilities to serve others in some way...  Giving my love from Christ to those in need of His and my love... Giving when I see a need I can and want to meet...  Giving, Giving, Giving.  God has put all of us on this planet of His to do much more than breathe His air.  We are here to give ourselves and all that He has given us to love and support others.  What does that look like in your family?  I'm not sure, but you can talk about it today.  How can you give to someone else from what God has given you?  The book of Acts reminds us of Jesus' words about a giving attitude.  Acts 20:35b "...remembering the words of Jesus himself, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Family Discussion Points!

Name some things God has given your family that you can share with others - don't forget to mention His love.  We can all share love!

Everyone tell your family members about a gift you got that was very special.

Discuss ways to give individually or as a family to others around you - think simple things like kind words, raking leaves, doing dishes or laundry, etc. as well as a special project you may come up with.

Partners in Parenting

Timid with Fear!

I had the privilege of coaching a girls’ team for the first time in all the years I've been coaching basketball.  The 5th and 6th graders had practiced well during the past two weeks.  They had worked hard, listened intently to instructions, and dedicated themselves to improving.  They had done everything right, BUT this was a real game!  They were scared stiff.  In the locker room before the game, I went through the game plan to try to calm their nerves, but I asked one fatal question:  "Ladies, any questions?"  They all started asking tons of questions.  So I decided it was best to just pray together and begin to warm up.  I find it somewhat comical how nervous they were, but I also felt very bad for them.  They had become so afraid of the unknown with this first game of the year that they became more concerned about not messing up than about giving it their best try.  The game went well, and we went on to win.  However, some girls had to be convinced to go into the game.  They were timid with fear.  After the game, the words of 2 Timothy 1:7 came to mind.  Paul wrote this to Timothy to encourage him to be faithful in witnessing about Jesus Christ, but I find the words so fitting for the girls:  "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline."  God has blessed each of us with His Spirit, alive in us, to give us power in the face of real life.  It is a lesson I hope to teach the basketball team, but it is a lesson every Christian needs to remember as they live out their faith.

Family Discussion Points!

Everyone share times when you've been really nervous.

Talk about how the Holy Spirit in us gives us power when we are afraid.  With Him, we have the power to overcome our fears.

Share with each other any sports moment in your life that is a favorite.  Were the athletes timid with fear or full of power?