Partners in Parenting

"A Light Walk and A Dark Walk!"

I had the opportunity to go for a walk this past weekend.  The interesting thing about my walk was that I left about an hour before daylight, and eventually, I came to a woods with about 45 minutes of time before the sky would begin to lighten with the rising sun.  The walk across a field and along a fence row was very easy to do without using a flashlight.  My eyes adjusted to the darkness around me because there was actually plenty of light available - even though it was completely cloudy.  When I came to the woods, I stepped in among the large trees.  Within a few steps, I couldn't see a thing.  I had to turn on my flashlight because my eyes couldn't adjust to darkness that dark.  That experience reminded me of how God is the light of the world, but life without God is darkness.  I could see where I was going so long as I chose to walk in the light God provided me as I traversed the field and fence row.  But that light was not evident when I chose to walk in a place where God's light was blocked from my vision (in the woods).  I had to use my flashlight to spread light in that dark place.  Our lives in Christ are like that walk.  It is wise to stay in the light of God, but when darkness envelopes us at times in life, we need to provide light to those places too.  Parents, I pray that you'll keep showing God's light in the lives of your children so their "dark days" are filled with God's great love!!  "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."  I John 1:5

Family Discussion Points!

Where is the darkest place you've ever been.

If God is light, who is darkness (Satan).

Share any ways family members spread light to other family members.

Partners in Parenting

"Powerful Reminders!"

Last week, I was so excited to get an afternoon to myself to spend in the woods.  I love to be out in the woods to walk, explore, think, and relax.  I drove to the farm I grew up on ready to make the half mile walk to the woods, but upon arrival, I found my dad struggling to untangle some rope.  At 82 years old, my dad's hands don't work very well any longer, and he needed the rope to plant a straight line in his garden.  I spent time helping him in the garden, but I was really thinking about the woods.  He got the first seeds in the ground, and he was so excited.  He even pumped his fist and said, "There'll be red beets soon!"  The rain drops had just started falling as he was planting.  Then, the sky grew darker and darker.  My dad and I talked in the garage and watched the rain fall.  The dark sky turned grey due to the torrential downpour that ensued.  Hail, wind, and tons of rain all came very quickly.  I thought to myself, "I hope those red beets know how to swim," but I couldn't say that to my dad (see picture #1).  I was very frustrated to realize that I wouldn't get to make my trip to the woods, but I was suddenly thankful I didn't get caught out in that storm. 

Powerful reminder - I can only control so much in life, but I can't control everything.  God's in control of everything, not me.  In the flow of life, that sometimes frustrates me, but ultimately, I am so thankful that God is in control.  His knowledge, power, presence, love, grace, and forgiveness is beyond my own, and that is a very good thing.  (NOTE:  A few hours later, I got another powerful reminder of God's control in my life - see picture #2 of double full rainbow)

As parents, things happen that are powerful reminders that we aren't always in control of our children's decisions.  They make mistakes.  They disappoint us.  Our job is to respond with powerful reminders of our love, grace, and forgiveness just as God does.  Yes, we provide consequences when appropriate, but we also respond in love.  That is a powerful reminder to our children that they are loved.

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about who is in control of things in your home (toys, yard work, cooking, etc.)

Talk about whether control is a good thing or a bad thing.  How and why?

Is God's ultimate control comforting or not as you live?

Partners in Parenting

Partners in Parenting

"Watching Your Kids Grow Up!”

The other day, I took Zeke, our 4 month old Lab, out to the lake in hopes that he'd swim.  I'd taken him to the lake on a number of other occasions, but he hadn't gone swimming yet.  Every time we went, I'd walk out into deeper water in my waders hoping he'd swim out to me.  He would go in the water, but he'd always keep his feet on the ground.  I didn't force him to swim by throwing him in the lake.  I just encouraged him.   On this trip, he started to swim, and he found it to be so much fun.  He seemed so proud of himself, and I was certainly proud of him.

Parents, I hope you know that proud feeling you have when your child did something for the first time - when they took their first steps, said "mommy," rode a two-wheel bike, or earned an award.  Maybe you've also had a proud feeling when you saw your child do something unique and helpful that you didn't expect - took out the trash without being asked, held a door open for someone, used good manners at a restaurant, or received some kind of recognition from others.  These are a part of growing up, but these things that make you so proud don't just happen on their own.  They happen as a result of the encouragement and opportunities that you provide for your child beforehand.  All the things that occur leading up to the success are vitally important.  Ultimately, it is the child's moment of success, but there is nothing wrong with being proud of your kids as they grow and mature in life.  Jesus did this as well, and he had God and others proud of him for what he was doing:  "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." Luke 2:52 

 Family Discussion Points!

Talk about some firsts and how it went - potty training, riding a bike, day of school, etc.

Discuss "good proud" and "bad proud" in life.

Parents, tell your kids how proud you are of them - be specific about why.

Partners in Parenting

"Kids Can Be the Best Example"

A common phrase in our house to any one of the three kids is, "It's not all about you."  This comes on the heels of a complaint or general unhappiness with what they have to do.  I used the phrase a few times too many for my liking in the past few days, but it sure fit the situations.  As my kids try to learn that they are part of the family, part of the equation (not the answer), part of the consideration, part of the dilemma, part of life, etc., they have some hard lessons to learn in regard to who matters most.  It is not them.  Then I came across a Bible verse that reminded me that kids really do matter ALOT - to God!  In Matthew, Chapter 18, the disciples ask who is the greatest in heaven, and Jesus calls over a little child to stand in their midst and says, "unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (vs 3), "whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest..." (vs 4), "whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me" (vs 5), "See to it that you do not look down on one of these little ones." (vs 10).  Hmm, kids are important in the eyes of God.  They should be in our eyes too, but what Jesus is talking about here is their ability to believe in Him.  Children believe their parents when they are young, but as they grow older, they may start to think they are smarter than their parents.  They think they have life figured out.  Parents know that they don't.  As our kids are part of life for parents, maybe parents should be mindful of their ability to believe.  When it comes to many decisions, kids are only part of the decision.  When it comes to faith, kids may be the best example!

 

Family Discussion Points!

Who believes things easiest in your family - is it the youngest?

Why do you think Jesus talks about kids being the greatest in Matthew 18.

Talk about how each family member is only PART of the whole.  Is it true when a parent says, "It's not all about you!"  Will talking about this help your family?  How?

Partners in Parenting

"Nuances of Language!"

Over Spring Break, our family went camping in the Smokey Mountains for a few days.  We met a wonderful family from Georgia at the campsite next to us.  It was great to make some new friends, but they talk funny!  Actually, they didn't talk funny at all - just different from us.  So did the people at the grocery store, gas station, restaurants, etc.  Here are a few words I loved hearing:  ya'll (singular or plural), perdy instead of pretty, sweet instead of nice or kind, 'dem instead of them, and a few other variations or words.  I was also called “sweetheart” by people all the time at restaurants or stores.  It seems strange to write these words, but it all flowed out naturally by the people accustomed to the dialect of the area. 

This exposure to the nuances of language reminded me of some that our kids have.  "Sick" means really cool (just like it did in the early 90s when it was popular).  Texting itself is a nuance of language.  New words emerge all the time.  New meanings to words emerge just as often.  It will all change, and parents need to keep up with the nuances of language that their kids use.  Language is used to communicate, and communication needs to be clear to effectively foster relationships.  The southern nuances of language were clear to me.  No matter what words get used, it is important to keep communication clear and to the point you are trying to make.  Paul writes about that in his letter to the Corinthian church:  "But in the church I would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct others than ten thousand words in a tongue." I Corinthians 14:19

Family Discussion Points!

What are some cool "slang" words in use right now?  Have your kids help you!!

Figure out this riddle:  I'm talking to my father’s child.  My mom has 4 brothers. I have 2 adopted cousins.  I am an only child, but my family has 4 pets.  Who am I talking to?

Notice how language can be very unclear the more we talk sometimes.  How do you need to communicate better as a family?  Is short and simple better?  What will you do to make that happen?  Discuss this topic together.

(riddle answer:  I am talking to myself)

Partners in Parenting

"Nuances of Language!"

Over Spring Break, our family went camping in the Smokey Mountains for a few days.  We met a wonderful family from Georgia at the campsite next to us.  It was great to make some new friends, but they talk funny!  Actually, they didn't talk funny at all - just different from us.  So did the people at the grocery store, gas station, restaurants, etc.  Here are a few words I loved hearing:  ya'll (singular or plural), perdy instead of pretty, sweet instead of nice or kind, 'dem instead of them, and a few other variations or words.  I was also called “sweetheart” by people all the time at restaurants or stores.  It seems strange to write these words, but it all flowed out naturally by the people accustomed to the dialect of the area. 

This exposure to the nuances of language reminded me of some that our kids have.  "Sick" means really cool (just like it did in the early 90s when it was popular).  Texting itself is a nuance of language.  New words emerge all the time.  New meanings to words emerge just as often.  It will all change, and parents need to keep up with the nuances of language that their kids use.  Language is used to communicate, and communication needs to be clear to effectively foster relationships.  The southern nuances of language were clear to me.  No matter what words get used, it is important to keep communication clear and to the point you are trying to make.  Paul writes about that in his letter to the Corinthian church:  "But in the church I would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct others than ten thousand words in a tongue." I Corinthians 14:19

Family Discussion Points!

What are some cool "slang" words in use right now?  Have your kids help you!!

Figure out this riddle:  I'm talking to my father’s child.  My mom has 4 brothers. I have 2 adopted cousins.  I am an only child, but my family has 4 pets.  Who am I talking to?

Notice how language can be very unclear the more we talk sometimes.  How do you need to communicate better as a family?  Is short and simple better?  What will you do to make that happen?  Discuss this topic together.

(riddle answer:  I am talking to myself)

Partners in Parenting

"What in the World!"

My mom used to say that phrase when I was younger.  She'd say it when she was amazed at something.  It would be common for me to hear from her when flowers would bloom, our dog was in the house instead of outside, a new bird came to the bird feeder, etc.  I found myself saying those very words last week Monday.  I started to not feel well Sunday evening, and by Monday at noon, I was extremely sick and in bed.  I laid there in bed and actually said out loud, "What in the world!"  I was amazed at how normal I had felt just a day earlier, but now I was completely miserable.  A couple hours earlier, I was fine, but I was not fine any more. 

In reading about the events of Holy Week, Peter's denial of Jesus made me think he very well could have said, "What in the world!" right when he realized he had denied Jesus three times.  This is amazing since just a few hours earlier, he told Jesus he wouldn't deny him at all.  In fact, he went as far as offering to die for Jesus if needed.  A few hours later, Peter denied even knowing Jesus at all.  "What in the world" were you thinking, Peter?  (Luke 22:54-62, John 21:15-19)

OK, do you ever feel like that as a parent?  Have your kids amazed you with strokes of "genius?"  Have they ever behaved so poorly you couldn't believe it?  There is amazing good and amazing bad.  Maybe you've even said "What in the world" with your own kids.

 

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share something amazingly good you did as a child.  Something amazingly bad.

Kids - your turn to share something good and bad.

Discuss God's amazing love for us despite our actions.  Use Peter and the Bible references above to give an example of God's love!