Partners in Parenting

“Rebellion is GOOD!”

As of last week Friday, I announced that I am “in full rebellion” of winter.  On Friday, I didn’t wear a coat to school.  I chose a wind breaker instead.  I vowed that I am done with coats for the year, but I’d still wear jackets, hats, and gloves.  I’m tired of the cold, the snow, the wind chill, the time indoors, etc.  I’m done going along with winter, so I’m basically rebelling against it.

OK, I lasted through Saturday.  Sunday, the coat and the whole rebellion thing went by the wayside.  Looking at the below zero temperatures coming our way the next few days even further convinced me to give up on this rebellion I had started.

This short-lived rebellion reminded me of parenting.  Kids rebel against parents all the time, but the rebellion isn’t always against parents.  It is many times against the things parents stand for:  conforming behavior to the norm, being responsible, acting a certain way, or believing as parents believe.  Part of the “wiring” in children is to test limits, discover, challenge, wonder, and in essence, rebel against certain conventions forced upon them.  Many parents think a rebellious child is a bad thing.  BUT, hold on a minute…

I spoke to a large group of students and parents a few years back with a simple message:  Rebellion is GOOD.  You should have seen the looks on the faces of the kids (smirks galore) and parents (fear and trepidation).  I begged the kids to live out their teenage years in full rebellion…of the right things!!  The problem is NOT the rebellion.  The problem is what is being rebelled against.  Here are some examples:

Rebel against your parents:                            BAD

Rebel against racism:                                     GOOD

Rebel against going to worship:                      BAD

Rebel against loving your enemy:                  BAD

Rebel against hatred:                                      GOOD

Rebel against hurting others with words:        GOOD

Rebel against sin and temptation:                   GOOD

Rebel against God and His ways:                  BAD

The Bible is full of people who rebelled against evil and sinfulness to follow God’s ways.  The Bible also teaches us of how people continued to rebel against Him and find destruction waiting for them.  They rebelled against the wrong things.

God told Ezekiel to tell the Israelites to turn back to God, but they didn’t.  “You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious.”  Ezekiel 2:7

Rebelliousness isn’t bad, but rebelliousness against God is bad.  I believe rebellion is good!

Family Discussion Points!

Was it smart for me to decide to rebel against winter?  What are the consequences?

As a family, come up with a few things it is a good idea to rebel against?  What are some bad things to rebel against and their consequences?

Why do all people, even Christians, sometimes rebel against God’s ways?

Partners in Parenting

“HONK --- Nothing!?”

I was coming home Sunday evening, and I was very exhausted.  I just wanted to sit down and relax for a bit – even take a nap.  As I drove down the street in our subdivision, once again, a truck was parked on one side of the street while a Jeep parked on the other side of the street.  Remember, I’m tired.  I just want to go rest a bit.  Well, due to all the snow piles on the side of the street, I had to very carefully pass between those two vehicles.  I had less than 4 inches to spare on both sides before my mirrors would hit theirs.  Frustrated, I said, “I should honk the horn so they can get out here and deal with this.  This is ridiculous that they could park anywhere, but they choose where a vehicle can hardly pass by.”  Someone from my family encouraged me to honk the horn, so I did…for 1.5 seconds.  That’s when it happened, HONK --- Nothing!  I was tired, frustrated, and ready to be home, but I let my frustration get the better of me.  The horn on my truck doesn’t work any longer.  That is amazing, since I never use it.  Nonetheless, it is broken and needs to be fixed!

I went home, parked my truck, and thought about the broken horn.  The horn needs fixing, but so do I.  I let frustration gain control over me.  I let anger dictate my decision.  I thought of myself before my neighbor.  Basically, I messed up!  Off to the dealer soon to get it fixed.

I am in need of fixing too.  And like my horn, I can’t do the fixing.  Someone else has to do that.  It is Jesus who fixes all my imperfections and struggles.  He does this through forgiveness.  The prophet Isaiah wrote about Jesus long ago:  “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.” Isaiah 61:1b

We can’t fix our own sinfulness, but Jesus can!  I may not have a working horn right now, but thankfully, I have a fully functioning Savior who takes away my sin!

Family Discussion Points!

Do you have any “broken” parts on your vehicle?  In your house?

Do you have any brokenness (sin) in you?  As a family, admit to being broken and needing Jesus.  This is true of everyone, but it is good to affirm each other in this.

Who in the family is best at fixing things?  Worse?

Partners in Parenting

“Wherever You Go, There You Are!”

My freshman year of college, my roommate would constantly joke with me whenever I was heading to class early in the morning as he remained in bed.  He’d say things like:

“Remember, the sky is blue.”

“Remember, vegetables are good for you.”

“Remember, the past is the past.”

Really goofy stuff, right?  He’d do this all the time with simple one-liners that rarely made you think.  One phrase he started to say on a regular basis was one I still think of fairly often today.  He’d say, “Remember, wherever you go, there you are.”  At the time, I didn’t think much of it at all.  Today, I think of that simple phrase and wonder if I am really living that out.

When I go to the store, am I really there?  Or am I just there physically, but my mind is back home thinking of the work to be done there?

When I am at my child’s basketball game, am I really watching it?  Or am I texting, checking emails on my phone, making a grocery list, etc.?

When I am at home, am I really present for my family?  Or am I still thinking about work things that need to be accomplished?

It is difficult to “be” in the place that I actually “am” sometimes – and I don’t do Facebook or Twitter!!!  It is hard, but I am reminded of how much the people in my life need me to “be” exactly where I “am.” 

Distractions are everywhere – IF I let them be.  If I don’t let them, then I can “be.”  (Hey, is that a new saying my old roommate could use?)

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, any “sayings” that your parents had when you were growing up that you could share with your kids.  Any sayings in your own house today?

Do you find it hard to “be” where you “are” sometimes?  Why?

Are the distractions more important than the people?  Then why do we sometimes struggle?

Partners in Parenting

More Time!”

Our Christmas Break was extended this year due to the snow and cold here in SE Michigan.  I don’t know for sure what the kids in your house were wishing for on Sunday, January 5, 2014, but mine were basically begging for a snow day (or two).  They just didn’t want to end their vacation.  They were overjoyed to get the word that they had more time for Christmas Break with school being cancelled for both Monday and Tuesday.  Ah, it gets better…on Tuesday the news that there will be no school on Wednesday either.  More time! 

“Dad, c’mon!  Why even bother going back this week with only two days left, and it is still pretty cold,” said one of my children on Wednesday.  They were bargaining for more time.  Parents may have been ready for school to start again, but the students, for the most part, wanted more time to relax at home.

I once read that a child knows very well how to spell the word LOVE.  It is easy to spell for all of us adults, right – L-O-V-E. Well, not quite so for a child.  Children tend to “spell” love like this – T-I-M-E.

As you begin a new year, I pray that your family would be blessed with the conviction to find more time to “just be together.”  Even as children get older and become teenagers, they still benefit greatly from more time with their family.  Someday, our kids will be off to college, married, and on with their own life where more time really gets hard to come by. 

Jesus even reminded his disciples of the reality that heaven is coming for all of us, but we really don’t know when.  He [Jesus] said to them:  “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.”  Acts 1:7  But never forget that eventually, we will all spend eternity with Him in heaven where we will definitely have more time than our minds can even fathom.  We can understand time on earth, but not in eternity where there will always be more time!

Family Discussion Points!

Do you really want more time together as a family.  Do you or not?  Give everyone a chance to share.  Why or why not?

Why would a child spell “love” in this way (T-I-M-E)?

Everyone take your best shot at describing eternity.  “It is like…” and go from there to see what you can come up with as a description.