Partners in Parenting

“What is that?!?!”

I went to the closet this morning to get my coat before leaving for school.  I noticed some small round object on the floor near the closet door.  I started to bend over to pick it up figuring it was something rather ordinary.  At the last moment, I decided I probably shouldn’t pick it up since I didn’t know what it was.  The area of the floor was dark, so I turned on the light to see what it could be.  My foot was right beside this thing when the light went on, but I quickly jumped back once I could see it.  I was rather astonished!!

Here’s a picture.  Can you guess what it is on the rug??

I immediately started thinking things like bloated spider, poisonous snail out of its shell, fungus growing out of control, etc.  Then I started thinking about whether it was alive, dead, soft, hard, fast or slow moving, non-moving, poisonous to touch, etc.  I was utterly confused, and kept thinking to myself, “What is that?”

I took a picture before finding out for myself what it was on the rug.

This whole event this morning made me think of Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem.  People had no idea what that child would do.  People could not fully understand who that child was in being God sent down to earth.  Shepherds heard of his birth and came looking for that child wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger, but did they fully comprehend the fact that that child was the Savior of the world?  The innkeeper, the animals in the stable, the people in town who were relatives of Joseph, and anyone else around when Jesus was born wouldn’t have known the destiny of that child or all of humankind because of His life, death, and resurrection.

Far too often, I keep thinking of baby Jesus during the Christmas season, and I don’t think about Savior Jesus...  even though that child is both baby and Savior.  The angel told the shepherds exactly what they needed to know about that child in Bethlehem:  “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.”  Luke 2:11

Family Discussion Points!

Take a guess at what the object in the picture is.  You can write down your guesses or email me if you’d likeJ

Talk about the people alive when Jesus was born and what they would have thought about this new baby.  Do you think they would have had any idea who was just born?

As you celebrate Christmas, don’t focus too much on the “What is that?” and miss out on understanding “Who is that?”

Partners in Parenting

“Memories CAN be relived!”

This past weekend, our family relived an old and very happy memory.  We’ve always had a real Christmas tree.  The only memory our kids have had (with the exception of 2013) is going to a farm and finding our own Christmas tree.  Once we find the perfect tree, we then have to cut it down ourselves, drag it to where the tractor and wagon will pick us up, and wait for the farmer to deliver us and the tree back to our vehicle.  We did this over the weekend at the same farm the kids had gone to for years when they were young.  It was a wonderful time, and it brought back lots of events and stories from the past.  The kids ran around looking at trees and declaring, “This is the one!”  However, when the others in the family gave it a good looking-over, it was not “the one.”  So the search continued while walking through acres of trees on the farm until finally, way in the back of the farm, the perfect tree was identified.  I cut it down, and it fell on top of Evan – yes, another memory was made.  He was not injured, but we all had a great laugh together.  It is now a memory that will be relived again.  Maybe not physically relived, but I bet it will be told someday so we can relive it again…and again…and again…

Parent make memories for their family in the traditions of the family.  Sometimes, we aren’t even aware of those memories being made.  Think about some memories together and relive them as a family.  Either relive them physically by going there and doing that, or by talking about them!  Either way, they are being relived and create happy memories as you can see from the picture of my kids!

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about Christmas memories that are a part of your family.  When did they start?  Did you plan to have that memory be an important memory or did it just happen?

Telling stories about the past can help connect kids to their roots.  Share memories from your own Christmas celebrations growing up.  Your kids will love it.

If you want to start a new memory for your kids, NOW is the time to do it.  Talk about that as spouses to determine what you might want to start.

Partners in Parenting

“Location, Location, Location!”

Location really matters in real estate.  The positioning of your home in a community, on a certain street, near a certain landmark (lake), or in a desired neighborhood clarifies the value of your home. 

Location matters with the weather.  I was only an hour and a half north of home last weekend, and I watched it snow off and on all weekend.  We only got about two inches.  A little further north, the people there got 18 or more inches.  Going even further north (but still in Michigan), people there got over 24 inches of snow!  I drove home and found no snow at all.  While Michigan people consider inches of snow, my niece in Florida sent us pictures of their family on the boat enjoying a sunny 80 degree day.  Yes, location matters when it comes to weather!

Location matters with our hearts too.  That may sound strange, but the Bible talks about the heart all the time.  Here are just a few references:

“…let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith…” Hebrews 10:22

[Jesus said] “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”  Matthew 15:8

Location of the heart close to God or far from God looks and feels differently as we live each day.  When you think about the location of your heart, also consider the location of your child’s heart.  Keeping their heart close to God is a huge job, but the truth is that many times the location of a child’s heart is fairly similar to that of their parents.

Family Discussion Points!

Name things that are near or far in your house, neighborhood, Detroit, Michigan, USA.

As a family, talk about what a heart near to God is like and a heart far from God is like.

These are hard questions to talk about, but I pray God will use the discussion to bring your family closer to God.

Partners in Parenting

“A Wonderful “Drug” for your Kids!”

I don’t know anyone currently addicted to drugs, but I’ve known a few during my lifetime.  With the drugs, they are happy, content, outgoing, and generally satisfied with life.  Without the drugs, they have been irritable, “crazy,” depressed, and generally discontent with life.  The drugs I’m referring to above would be things like nicotine, alcohol, prescription drugs, and other street drugs.  I’m not talking about antibiotics or drugs to help cure diseases.

So here’s a great “drug” for your kids – SLEEP!  This past weekend, things just happened so that by Monday morning I was so sleep deprived, I did not feel like myself.  I was irritable, “crazy,” depressed, and generally discontent with life.  I ended up sleeping most of Monday, and then Monday night.  Today (Tuesday), I feel like a normal human being again.  I got my “fix” of the sleep my body was craving.  I found some research from the Sleep Foundation recommending kids between age 5 and 17 get between 8.5 and 11 hours of sleep each night.  The foundation recommends 7 - 9 hours of sleep for adults.  It is also understood that individuals all require different amounts based upon their own individuality.

However, I’d bet most of the people I see each day do not get enough sleep to be well rested.  Sleep is a wonderful “drug” for our kids – and all of us.  Rest is obviously important enough that God decided to get some:  “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.”  Genesis 2:2

Family Discussion Points!

Does everyone in your family get enough rest each night, in general?

Why do you or why don’t you get enough rest – answers can be very different for each person.

Could/Should your family consider bedtimes for everyone?  Think about it a bit this week.

Partners in Parenting

“I think God is a Planner!”

I am not the world’s greatest planner.  My calendar is planned out for 3 years on many things, but when it comes to organizing every detail of planning an event – I’m NOT the guy to do that.  I remember having a cookout years ago with the whole church and school staff at my house.  We were having hot dogs, hamburgers, and a dish to pass from everyone there.  I led the prayer before we ate, and God spoke to me during that prayer.  God spoke so clearly, it was amazing!  Here is what He said (remember, He said this as I was leading a prayer with about 60 people in my back yard):

God said, “Hey, Julian!  You forgot to get buns.”

I kept praying, but the reality was maybe that I was stalling to say amen and admit to forgetting buns.  I had all the ketchup, mustard, onions, relish, tomatoes, etc. for hot dogs and hamburgers, but no buns.  After praying, I admitted my mistake and everyone laughed (except my wife).  She felt bad for me.  She is a great planner of this stuff.  I am not.

As I look at creation, it is easy for me to see that God was planning way ahead of anything we could even imagine.  Look at the trees changing colors.  Consider the human body and everything we are just now discovering about his creation.  Think about salvation through Jesus who lived on the earth 2,000 years ago.  God is a planner, and this week, I came across something that really had meaning about the kind of planning He is still doing.  He is planning to provide us with opportunities to do good things for others as we live our lives.  Ephesians 2:10  “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Family Discussion Points!

Who is the BEST planner in your family?  Who loves to “fly by the seat of their pants?”

Where do you see people spend the most time planning for a certain event (party, wedding, graduation, etc.)?

Talk about what it means to plan for eternity with Jesus?  If you plan to have faith in Jesus your whole life, what gets high priority?

How does it feel to know God planned for you to do good works for other people?

Partners in Parenting

 “What Do You Notice?”

Last Thursday, we celebrated the Detroit Tigers beginning their playoff run.  Students and staff were allowed to wear jeans and Detroit Tigers shirts, hats, etc.  I do not have a Detroit Tigers shirt, so I decided to wear my orange shirt since that is one of the team colors.  Before long, I found Jacob Hardy wearing an orange shirt like mine (non-Tigers).

I said, “Nice shirt.”

He replied, “Thanks, you too!” 

And we started to laugh together.  So I decided to ask for a picture together because we both dressed in blue jeans, an orange shirt, and a Tigers hat.  We felt an incredible bond because we dressed exactly alike for Tigers Day!!!

I had someone take our picture on my phone.  Then, I showed Jacob the picture.  He started out smiling, then looked rather serious.  He turned to me with a “sarcastically sad” look on his face and said, “You should have worn darker jeans!”

Ha!  We laughed together before he bounded off to class.  But I did think about his comment a number of times during the day, and eventually, my thoughts landed on my family at home.  We are a group of 5 Petzolds who are very much alike, and yet, we are also slightly different in some ways, vastly different in other ways, and polar opposites in many other ways.  But every night, we all go to bed as a Petzold.  We are alike, but we are also different.  I think that is good most of the time, but noticing the differences and similarities helps us effectively “do life” together.  Just like in the church:  “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts: and though all its parts are many, they form one body.  So it is with Christ.”  I Corinthians 12:12

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about how your family is the same and how each person is different.

Who in your family makes weird noises when they get upset?  Where did they learn that from?  And does the rest of the family notice it?  Laugh a little bit with this one.  I know it happensJ

God made us all different.  That must be a great thing or He wouldn’t have done that!  Talk about why He would create people with different bodies, attitudes, passions, likes, dislikes, personalities, etc.

If you are really crazy, try to have everyone dress exactly alike and take a picture.  Then send it to me.  I’d love to see it!!!

Partners in Parenting

“Critical Conversations!”

I think every once in a while, something brings about the opportunity for a parent and child to have a pretty significant and critical conversation.  MY MIND IS CHANGED!!  Here is what happened to me last week:

I had one of my kids at the orthodontist for an appointment.  Shortly after we were seated, a mom and her daughter arrived and checked in.  The mom sat two seats away from me.  The daughter sat across the room and wouldn’t make eye contact with mom.  The daughter was about 12 years old with straight hair pulled back in a ponytail.  She was not skinny; nor was she heavy.  Mom was about 50 years old, wearing a skirt, and “made up to the hilt” while wearing canvas Converse All-Stars.  Mom picked up a magazine and started turning the pages.  She then called out loud to her daughter and she told her daughter to come over by her.  The daughter did just what mom told her to do.  Mom did all the speaking from then until the daughter was called back to see the doctor.  Here are the actual words I heard out of mom’s mouth:

“Wow!  Look how skinny and beautiful she is.  She is gorgeous!  Don’t you think so?  (No response)

“Yuck, can you believe that girl would wear that?  It all looks hideous and does nothing for her figure.”

“Ah.  Honey!  Look at her curly hair.  I LOVE curly hair.  I think it looks so amazing and a bit sexy too.”

“Who do you think is the prettiest girl on this page?”

“OOOHHHH, look at him.  I think he is adorable!”

The daughter was called back to see the doctor and left without ever saying a word.  Incredibly, once the daughter was gone, mom reached into her large purse and pulled out some knitting to work on. 

I don’t want to get into what I wanted to do or say.  I’ve already asked God to forgive me for that.  However, here is what I learned --- EVERY conversation with my kids is a critical conversation.  Every time I open my mouth, they are learning something about me; about them; about what I believe; about what I want them to believe; about God; about Satan; about life and how to live it; about life and how NOT to live it; etc.  Yikes! 

Paul gave some final instructions to the church in Colosse that seem appropriate for what I heard.  “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”  Colossians 4:6

Family Discussion Points!

Before bed this entire week, share a word of encouragement for the next day to your child(ren).

Parents, talk about the quality of your speech in your home and what that teaches your kids.

Consider how often or rare you have these two things in your home:  1) conversations – two way communication, not just directions and 2) conversations filled with grace.  Make it a habit to have at least two this week!

Partners in Parenting

“Hold on Tight or Hold on Loosely?!”

This past weekend, I was enjoying some time in the woods with my son.  We heard thunder in the distance, but honestly, we heard that in the morning and only got a few sprinkles.  Once we realized we were in for a whole lot more than a few sprinkles, I sent my son down out of our tree stand while I gathered up all our hunting stuff.  Just as I was ready to start climbing down from the tree stand, the wind blew so hard that I had to hold on to the tree for my own safety.  While I was still holding on tightly to the tree, the rain started.  Not regular rain – monsoon-style rain.  For about a minute, I just held on tight to that tree.  Once on the ground, we started our walk to the truck.

On the drive home, I thought about how being a parent is sometimes like holding on to that tree.  Out of fear, I held on tight to that tree.  Out of fear, I sometimes hold on too tight to my kids.  Kids need experiences as they grow and mature.  Experiences bring about inherent risk and danger.  For instance, soccer is fun, but you can get hurt.  Should I let them play soccer or protect them from injury.  Soccer isn’t evil, so letting them play would be fine.  That is a simple example of finding balance with parenting.  Evil is what we should avoid.  “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go” was the line from a 38 Special song a few years back.  That describes balance with many things of parenting.  Holding on tight can be useful if we truly fear evil things for our children, but most of the time, holding on loosely will suffice. 

“Test everything.  Hold on to the good.  Avoid every kind of evil.”  I Thessalonians 5:21, 22

Family Discussion Points!

Parents only:  Talk about where you are holding on too tightly with your parenting.

Talk about lots of fun activities that involve risk every time you do them, but you do them anyway.  Why still do them??

Holding on more loosely will be very stressful as a parent.  It is helpful to daily pray to God that He will keep your kids in His care.  He does whether you pray it or not, but it is helpful that you acknowledge it daily!!

Partners in Parenting

“How’s Your Day Going?”

“How’s your day going” is a question most adults probably get asked at least five times every day in one way or another.  Since last week, whenever someone asks me that question, I immediately think of one of our Kindergarten students.  Here is why:

Last week, we had all the Kindergartners and most of their parents too, in the office before school for a few days so we could check the Kindergartners for head lice.  Mrs. Knopf and I checked students one at a time while others waited their turn.  For the most part, the kids didn’t mind getting checked.  The parents, however, were a nervous wreck while we methodically looked through their child’s hair.  Once we said, “You’re good!” to their child, parents began to actually breathe againJ  One child’s response has stuck with me every day since checking her.  She sat down in the chair in front of me.  Once I started checking her hair, she said, “You know what, Mr. Petzold?”  “What’s that, Sweetheart?” was my reply.  (Now I’m expecting her to tell me about her socks, a pillow at home, or some other random thing 5-year olds will talk about.)  Instead she joyfully says, “This is one beautiful day!”  My heart warmed as I affirmed the truth she had just shared.  Despite lice checks, worried parents, worried students and all the challenges of life, it’s a beautiful day when lived with Jesus.  I am trying to have that perspective every day.  The things you can learn from a 5-year old!!!

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24

Family Discussion Points!

Share highs and lows this week of each day.  In essence, ask the question:  How’s your day going?

Some days are great, and some are messy.  How do we rejoice in every day, not just the great ones? 

Staying positive in difficult situations is helpful for getting through the situation.  Talk about at least 3 positive things about your family because every family has difficult times…