Partners in Parenting

Get Busy or Slow Down - which is it?

Every once in a while, I just open up the book of Proverbs to read some of the amazing "pearls of wisdom" contained there.  Proverbs Chapter 6 warns of folly (or foolishness) in daily living.  Verse 6 asks the reader to consider the life of an ant and imitate it.  Ants are not busy this time of year due to the cold temperatures outside, but in the summer, they are constantly "on the go."  They never seem to rest or slow down.  So, is Solomon telling us in Proverbs to keep busy?  Actually, NO!  He is giving advice to the lazy man who wastes his time.  He is referring to laziness as folly or foolishness.  He is reminding the people that work is good for a person to do.  "Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!?  Proverbs 6:6

So lazy people (sluggards) should get busy working since it is wise to use God's gifts while you are here on earth.  HOWEVER, too much busyness in life will detract you and your home from time with God and His Word.  Busyness has become a part of our American fabric as far as I'm concerned.  I think some slowing down is important for most of us parents.  Running ourselves ragged is not helping our relationship with Christ.  Consider your life and the lives of your kids.  Do you need to get busy or slow down?  I bet you might benefit greatly by slowing down with life so you can get busy spending time with God and your family.  I know I can benefit from that!!

Family Discussion Points!

Are you generally busy or lazy?  Answer that individually and as a family.

Parents, listen carefully to how your kids answer.  It may be a "call out" to you.

Talk about what a night at home with no TV, radio, computer, video games, etc. might be like in your home.  Be daring - give it a try!

Partners in Parenting

Lessons from Lice!

As you are probably aware, I have been spending many hours looking through the hair of students looking for these teeny, tiny, little, hard to spot lice eggs (called nits).  It is so tedious and takes time looking for them in other people.  I've had Mrs. Knopf check me tons of times because I can't check myself.  Here are some lessons from lice that I applied to life:

• As a parent, it can become easy to be too harsh or critical of the little things I see in my kids without looking at myself first.
• I was also reminded of how I can focus on other people's flaws without paying any attention to my own. 
• I also thought of how something so small can really be a big problem if left unattended.
• I received a great lesson in perseverance in times of difficulty as did every family who had kids with lice.

As I considered all this, I was reminded of a Bible passage from Matthew about looking for something very small in others without any regard for ourselves.  It is valuable to remember to be cautious about passing judgment on others when we are all sinners.  "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"  Jesus' words from Matthew 7:1-3

We can always learn lessons from the good and bad side of a great teacher - real life.

Family Discussion Questions!

What are some little things you've had to look for in the past (keys, wallet, coins, etc.)

What are some things you are too picky about as a parent?  As a child?

Discuss finding flaws in others.  Why do we do it?  Who does it make feel better when we find flaws in others?

Discuss perseverance in adversity.

Partners in Parenting

It's NOT A Joke!

OK, you can "write me up" for pestering my kids if you want, but at home, I continually ask my kids, "Do you know what the longest distance in the world is?"  They just roll their eyes, and tell me to stop bugging them.  Seriously, do you know the answer?  At my house, it is the distance between the sink and the dishwasher - yep, that's it.  Now, they are only 6 inches apart, but you'd think it was a million miles based on how well my lovely children will dutifully take their dishes to the sink after every meal and place them in the sink... and life goes on.  They even walk past the dishwasher to get to the sink, but not one thing gets into the dishwasher.  WHY CAN'T THEY PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER?  Honestly!  We even ask the kids to clear the table on occasion, and they are happy to help.  If we ask them to clear the table AND load the dishwasher, they moan like crazy and aren't willing to help.  That distance is really short.  The dishwasher is right there, so why do they act like it is so far away?  Well, God's forgiveness is right there for all who believe, yet don't we sometimes act like it is too far away to utilize it.  Why do we think forgiveness is so far away?  Maybe for the same reason my kids don't load the dishwasher - it takes a little extra effort.  Utilizing the dishwasher means loading it.  Utilizing God's forgiveness means repenting of our sins. 

Load the dishwasher = clean kitchen

Ask for forgiveness = clean heart

Part of understanding God's unconditional love is confessing our sin with the assurance they He will never reject us or deny us the forgiveness of ALL our sins.  And the distance He removes our sin really IS the longest distance on earth. 

Psalm 103:11,12 "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about the chores the kids don't do that would be so helpful.

Share some stories about the longest family trip you've ever taken.

Share a time of repenting for sins and reminding every family member that God, through Jesus' death and resurrection, has removed every sin from them. 

Partners in Parenting

Avoiding Consequences!

This past weekend, I sat with my son watching a football game.  The TV announcer shared that a player was not allowed to start the game because he was late for a team meeting earlier in the week.  My son was really surprised that such a consequence would be given to a professional athlete making millions of dollars.  I simply stated that I wasn't that surprised because consequences are a part of every person's life.  I don't know about this athlete's circumstances for being late on this particular occasion, but every consequence has a precursor.  In other words, something happens first to get a consequence.  So, how do our kids typically try to avoid consequences?  As I work with kids here at school, they usually try to change, alter, or lie about the behavior that brought about the consequence.  When that happens, I'm not happy, but I'm not surprised either.  That's been the natural response since Adam and Eve.  Genesis 3:11 has God asking Adam if he ate the fruit off the tree he was commanded not to eat.  Genesis 3:12 has Adam’s avoidance technique response, "The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."  Adam didn't avoid the consequence of being thrown out of the garden.  Our kids will try to avoid consequences all the time.  It is normal, but it is also sinful.  I'd encourage you to provide consequences even when your kids "wiggle" to avoid them.

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share a normal consequence you got when growing up.  Share a really bad one.

Parents, share a consequence you can get at your place of employment.

Talk about ways people avoid consequences.  What's wrong with doing that (it is dishonest)?

Partners in Parenting

"You get what you get, so don't throw a fit."

A wonderful teacher I use to work with would tell her Kindergartners the phrase, "You get what you get, so don't throw a fit" whenever it applied - usually snack time fit perfectly.  Her point was to be grateful for what you get from someone else instead of upset about it.  I'm reminded of this phrase because it is Christmastime.  My family always goes to Jen's grandma's house on Christmas morning.  Years ago, someone in the family, who was a little immature, would open her gifts and let the giver know right away whether she liked it and would keep it or return it.  I was dumbfounded along with the rest of the family.  She needed to have that Kindergarten teacher in her life!!!  Gratefulness is a matter of the heart on the part of the receiver.  Consider how grateful your family is this Christmas for the gift you have received from God - a Savior!  Jesus born in Bethlehem, Mary riding a donkey, Joseph didn't divorce her, no room in the inn, shepherds in the field, angels in the sky, manger for a bed, etc. - wow, what an amazing account.  BUT it is just the beginning.  Jesus began life on earth in Bethlehem, but he eventually brought things "full circle" with Jerusalem, Golgotha, and the empty tomb!  At Christmas, that is what we get - a Savior.  Nothing else matters, so don't throw a fit.  "She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."  Matthew 1:21

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about gratefulness.

Spend as much time talking about Easter this Christmas as you can.

Talk about what you want for Christmas like you always do, but also talk about what you already received - a Savior.

Partners in Parenting

Christmas Stress!!!!

We can probably all identify with some level of stress at Christmastime.  Whether it is your schedule, finances, shopping, parties, to do list, etc., Christmas can be stressful.  Christmas is time to celebrate the birth of our Savior in Bethlehem so long ago.  We have made it so much more than that, and in the process, created stress that we don't need.  I love how Jesus handled a very stressful situation in the book of John.  He just bends down and writes on the ground.  He gives himself time to think, gain perspective, and prepare an appropriate response.  The Pharisees are trying to trap him so they can get him thrown into jail, and he takes time to collect his thoughts.  Stressful situation --- great tactic!  A few years ago, I heard that it is wise to never share your first thought, and instead, always share your second thought.  Great advice, and I think Jesus modeled it perfectly in John 8:6 and 8:  "(6) They (Pharisees) were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.  (8) Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground."  Read the whole account to get a better picture of the stressful event.  Let's celebrate Christmas and share our second thought whenever we feel stressed in life!

Family Discussion Points!

What is the most stressful part of Christmas for each family member?  Can you eliminate any of those stressors?  If so, why don't you?

Is going to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day stressful?  Why?  How can you reduce the stress without skipping church?

What is the problem with sharing your first thought (most of the time anyway)?

Partners in Parenting

Thankfulness for what you DON'T HAVE!

This week, we'll celebrate thanksgiving.  Many people will pause to thank God for what they have!  That is a great thing to do.  However, I think it would be great to also consider the things you DON'T HAVE for which you can be thankful.  Can you be thankful that you don't have:

• too little food to feed your family
• a serious disease like cancer or something else
• to sleep in your car or outside due to homelessness
• a lack of heat in the cold months
• a lack of medical care to keep you healthy
• nobody to call a friend
• to live in a country without the freedom you enjoy
• to fear persecution or death for being a Christian

And the list could go on and on.  Now, there is no guarantee that some of those things I've listed don't apply to some people reading this, but my purpose is to just help you think of things you DON'T HAVE as you give thanks this year.  Talk about it as a family!  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!