Partners in Parenting

“Hold on Tight or Hold on Loosely?!”

This past weekend, I was enjoying some time in the woods with my son.  We heard thunder in the distance, but honestly, we heard that in the morning and only got a few sprinkles.  Once we realized we were in for a whole lot more than a few sprinkles, I sent my son down out of our tree stand while I gathered up all our hunting stuff.  Just as I was ready to start climbing down from the tree stand, the wind blew so hard that I had to hold on to the tree for my own safety.  While I was still holding on tightly to the tree, the rain started.  Not regular rain – monsoon-style rain.  For about a minute, I just held on tight to that tree.  Once on the ground, we started our walk to the truck.

On the drive home, I thought about how being a parent is sometimes like holding on to that tree.  Out of fear, I held on tight to that tree.  Out of fear, I sometimes hold on too tight to my kids.  Kids need experiences as they grow and mature.  Experiences bring about inherent risk and danger.  For instance, soccer is fun, but you can get hurt.  Should I let them play soccer or protect them from injury.  Soccer isn’t evil, so letting them play would be fine.  That is a simple example of finding balance with parenting.  Evil is what we should avoid.  “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go” was the line from a 38 Special song a few years back.  That describes balance with many things of parenting.  Holding on tight can be useful if we truly fear evil things for our children, but most of the time, holding on loosely will suffice. 

“Test everything.  Hold on to the good.  Avoid every kind of evil.”  I Thessalonians 5:21, 22

Family Discussion Points!

Parents only:  Talk about where you are holding on too tightly with your parenting.

Talk about lots of fun activities that involve risk every time you do them, but you do them anyway.  Why still do them??

Holding on more loosely will be very stressful as a parent.  It is helpful to daily pray to God that He will keep your kids in His care.  He does whether you pray it or not, but it is helpful that you acknowledge it daily!!

Partners in Parenting

“How’s Your Day Going?”

“How’s your day going” is a question most adults probably get asked at least five times every day in one way or another.  Since last week, whenever someone asks me that question, I immediately think of one of our Kindergarten students.  Here is why:

Last week, we had all the Kindergartners and most of their parents too, in the office before school for a few days so we could check the Kindergartners for head lice.  Mrs. Knopf and I checked students one at a time while others waited their turn.  For the most part, the kids didn’t mind getting checked.  The parents, however, were a nervous wreck while we methodically looked through their child’s hair.  Once we said, “You’re good!” to their child, parents began to actually breathe againJ  One child’s response has stuck with me every day since checking her.  She sat down in the chair in front of me.  Once I started checking her hair, she said, “You know what, Mr. Petzold?”  “What’s that, Sweetheart?” was my reply.  (Now I’m expecting her to tell me about her socks, a pillow at home, or some other random thing 5-year olds will talk about.)  Instead she joyfully says, “This is one beautiful day!”  My heart warmed as I affirmed the truth she had just shared.  Despite lice checks, worried parents, worried students and all the challenges of life, it’s a beautiful day when lived with Jesus.  I am trying to have that perspective every day.  The things you can learn from a 5-year old!!!

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24

Family Discussion Points!

Share highs and lows this week of each day.  In essence, ask the question:  How’s your day going?

Some days are great, and some are messy.  How do we rejoice in every day, not just the great ones? 

Staying positive in difficult situations is helpful for getting through the situation.  Talk about at least 3 positive things about your family because every family has difficult times…

Partners in Parenting

Partners in Parenting

Simply Amazing!

I took a photo on my cell phone of one of the Blue Angel planes last Friday as they were practicing.  I’ve seen the Blue Angels on TV, but seeing them live and “low” like they were Thursday and Friday was simply amazing!  I didn’t get to the air show this past weekend, but I hope all of you got to get a glimpse of them at some point.  We had students, teachers, parents, and other staff all outside last week to watch them just “do what they do” in those jets.

As I left the parking lot and returned to my office, I kept thinking about how amazing those jets are; how amazing the pilots are; how amazing it is to watch them “do what they do.” 

Then, a sobering thought came to mind.  Do I think God’s love is as amazing as those jets?  Do I look at the Blue Angels in absolute awe while taking God’s love for granted?  I’m actually glad I had that thought because the Blue Angels suddenly became some random guys I don’t know flying some blue airplanes.  They aren’t as impressive as God’s love for us.  I spent a lot of time in awe of them last week, and I wish I’d spent as much time in awe of God’s love for me.  It is simply amazing!

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

Family Discussion Points!

Have every family member name something they thought was very cool or amazing when they saw it.

Talk about God’s love… how it is more amazing than anything because it changes everything.  Because of his love we are forgiven and will never perish in hell!

The Trinity Tweet

Partners in Parenting

It’s Gone!  Get Over It!”

About three weeks ago, I cut back, trimmed, “butchered,” and possibly even “massacred” the honeysuckle growing in the back yard at home.  The honeysuckle was growing on the trellis and/or pergola that we have next to our small shed.  I had to cut it back because it was only green at the very top.  The rest of it was dead and brown.  However, the hummingbirds loved coming to the honeysuckle every day to get nectar from the flowers.  Here is what it looks like today.

Those of you looking at this online could probably blow it up to see a few green leaves on either side.  Before my work, however, you couldn’t even see any wood at all, and the green leaves were about two feet above the top boards you see now. 

Since cutting this down, I still have hummingbirds showing up flying all around the area looking for honeysuckle.  Then they go to some of our other flowers in the backyard to find nectar.  They keep looking for it, but it is gone.  The other day, I saw one hovering and looking for honeysuckle nectar, and I said out loud, “It’s gone. Get over it!”

The same could be said for summer vacation.  The same could be said for my sin.  The same could be said for the sins of everyone relying on Jesus for His gift of forgiveness.  I am actually very thankful that we’ve begun another school year.  I’m thankful my honeysuckle is gone for now, but it will be back.  I’m thankful my summer vacation is gone for now, but it will be back.  I’m thankful my sins are gone (forgiven) forever because of Jesus!

Family Discussion Points!

Summer vacation is gone since we’ve started school.  Talk about the best parts of your summer vacation.

Share a story of when something you owned was lost, destroyed, etc. and gone forever.  How did you “get over it?”

Jesus takes away all our sins.  They are gone because of His death and resurrection.  How does this truth make you feel about His love for you?  It might be hard to “get over” how much He loves you!!

Partners in Parenting

 “Are you a ‘CRAZY’ parent?”
As if the question in the title wasn’t bad enough, let me give you the answer:  YES, you are a crazy parent!  And you should be.  We all are to some extent.  Love is a crazy thing that makes a person do crazy things.  For instance, I’ve come to really like movies that are classified as romantic comedies.  I used to loathe them.  My love for my wife has brought me to watch a ton of them with her, and now, I actually like them.  Love made me do it!
Our love for our kids make us more sensitive to their hurts, aware of their limitations, anxious about their failures, upset about their poor treatment from others, etc.  Ever feel your “blood boil” toward another person (child or adult) who has made your child feel less than fabulous.  I have, and it’s because I can become “CRAZY” with my love for my kids.  It isn’t easy all the time, but I try to keep a broad perspective on my kids and life in general to help me place everything in its proper context.
Parents are supposed to love their kids with a “crazy” kind of love, but that love also should be smothered in a great deal of perspective on life.  We learned to have a “crazy” love for our kids from God.  After all, only a “crazy” kind of love would have our Father in heaven send His Son, Jesus, to be our Savior despite our hurts, limitations, failures, and poor treatment.  Love made Him do it.  “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

Family Discussion Points!
As parents, is it hard to see your kids with perspective?  What are they good at?  Not so good at?  Need help with?  Can teach others about?
Is it good to be a “crazy” parent?  Yes, No, or both.  Talk about it.
How does life change knowing you have a “crazy” parent in God?

Partners in Parenting

“This doesn’t make sense, but it is right!”

Yesterday, I did something very strange for only the 2nd time in my entire life.  It seemed weird to do, but I knew it had to be done!  I kind of felt wrong in doing it because it goes against everything I have been taught as an American.  I was a little sad before I did what I did, but during and afterward, I felt a strange kind of pride and reverence.  I remember the last time I did this, and I had the same kind of feelings.  I’m sure I’ll do this again someday.  I don’t think it will ever become just a normal event for me.  As I stood next to our small campfire in the backyard yesterday, I remember saying to myself, “This doesn’t make sense, but it is right!”  Having thought that, I went ahead and did what I knew I had to do.

Wondering what I did?  I placed an American flag in the fire to burn.  Our flag has flown outside except in extreme weather for the past two years.  This past winter really took a toll on it.  It was torn, tattered, and unworthy to fly outside our house any longer.  Why did I burn it?  Here’s what I found on the internet today, but I knew before that burning it was the right thing to do.

As a revered symbol of freedom and justice, the flag of the United States of America needs to be treated with the utmost respect. This respect extends to the flag's eventual retirement and destruction. The United States Flag Code (4 USC Sec 8 Para (k) Amended 7 July 1976) states: "The Flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem of display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning."

As I did this, I was reminded that God can be that way too.  His ways don’t always make sense, but His ways are right!  Like this:  “For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law.”  Romans 3:28

Family Discussion Points!

Play a fun game of “right or wrong” at the dinner table.  Give an action and have the kids guess if it is right or wrong.  (example:  You buy something and get too much change for your $10 bill, and you leave happy that you have extra money.)

Talk about how God doesn’t always make sense to us because He is God, and we are not.  Focus on how He decides to love everyone, even sinners.  Typically, you get punished for doing bad things, but God gives forgiveness to everyone who believes.

Partners in Parenting

“Don’t Quit!”

I really enjoy exercising.  I like all kinds of sports, and I enjoy the physical activity of playing sports.  Basketball, hockey, ultimate Frisbee, running, biking, volleyball, etc. is all fun to me.  I like being a bit out of breath during an activity.  I like mildly sore or “tight” muscles the next day.  I like the positive energy in my body that exercise creates.  Since I’ve only had a few sports injuries in my whole life, exercise has a huge “up-side” for my body and overall health.  I’ve been thinking about this so much as I anxiously await the arrival of warm weather to start exercising regularly again.  The truth is though, I have just used the weather as an excuse since winter started.  My exercise pattern has been very sporadic since then, and I’ve gotten started a few times without continuing.  Why?  I could give a list of reasons (starting with the schedule of my three kids), but in the end, I wouldn’t be giving you reasons, I’d be giving you excuses.  There is a difference between the two.  Ask your child to clean their room tonight and listen to their response.  Do they give you reasons or excuses for why they can’t do it tonight???

My spiritual life can be just like my exercise life – sporadic.  The habit of daily prayer, weekly worship, regular reading of my Bible, and time spent talking to God are all things with a huge “up-side” without any “down-side” at all.  I just have to remember to discipline myself to not give up once I start.  Like exercising, when I quit the healthy patterns of my daily walk with God, I lose out.  I want to encourage you to start if you haven’t yet or continue if you’ve already started – exercising and spending daily time with God.  Either way, don’t quit!

Paul wrote to the early church:  “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.”  I Corinthians 9:24

Family Discussion Points!

Is it hard for you to start exercising or keep exercising or both?

What is the long-term benefit of exercise to the body?

What is the long-term benefit of exercise in daily walking with God?

What is the consequence for quitting and why is it easy to quit?