Partners in Parenting

Cutting Firewood with Dad!

Yesterday was an interesting day with my dad.  I took him to the woods with me to have him show me some trees I could cut down and use for the fireplace.  When I asked him to go with me, he responded with great enthusiasm for doing this together.  I grew up on a farm, and we primarily heated our house in the cold weather with two wood stoves in the basement.  Dad was excited to be cutting wood together like we had done so many times when I was young.  My dad would cut the wood while my siblings and I would carry it to the wagon.  Horrible work when you are a kid.  Yesterday, my dad's enthusiasm quickly waned.  My dad is almost 82 years old.  He has a hard time picking up things with his hands, and he gets tired very quickly at his age.  It was like a role reversal from my youth.  I was working like crazy cutting, dragging, stacking, etc.  Dad was the one relaxing on the tailgate, moving slowly, and continually going for a drink of water.  I remember trying to do that when I was a kid.  I also remember my dad working hard like I was yesterday when he was younger.  Time has changed us both, but cutting wood was a "common ground" for us for much of my youth.  We talked about wood cutting memories like cold weather, Christmas vacations spent cutting wood, getting warm on the tractor exhaust, and other memories as we stacked the wood.  He needed that because his body will soon be unable to carry wood.  His body is in a different season than it used to be, and so is mine.  Now, I want to cut wood instead of dreading it.  The Bible reminds us that there is a time for everything as we live life.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 gives a longer list, but I want to share verse 1:  "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."  Yesterday was a different day and time of life for us both, but it was enjoyable to be together!  Cutting firewood with dad began being about getting firewood, but now I see that it was mostly about being with dad!!

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share a special memory that you have of working with your parents.

Kids, is there a working activity you are forced to do now that you will always associate with your parents?

Identify together some "seasons" of life.  (Infancy, Youth, Jr. High, High School, etc.)  Talk about your memories together because you may find that memories are being established right now in your home.

Partners in Parenting

Recognizing a Fake!

I have to admit that I got "taken" pretty good last Sunday evening.  We had a garage sale on Friday (all day) and Sunday (1pm - 4pm) over the weekend, but I had a final customer show up about 6pm wanting to buy some items.  He wanted $2 worth of items, and I informed him that they were free.  In fact, I said, "Anything you want here is free.  The sale is over, and we want to get rid of it."  He selected a few more items, and he insisted on paying.  I was working in the back yard and wanted to get back to work, so I let him pay the $5 he insisted on paying.  Bad move on my part since he paid with a $50 bill.  I found out the following Wednesday that it was a counterfeit bill.  Ah, no wonder he insisted on paying!  He got $45 of real money, and I got "taken."  In 1 Kings Chapter 18, Elijah lets all of Israel know that they have been "taken" by the false gods of Baal and Asherah and their prophets.  The prophets totaled 850 people!  Quite a following, but it was all FAKE.  Elijah (only prophet of God) challenged the prophets of Baal (450 prophets) on Mount Carmel in order to decide if God was God or Baal was god.  What a hilarious account, and it is about the only time I find taunting humorous.  Read 1 Kings 18:16-40 to get all the details.  In your family and mine, there are fake gods - money, cars, TV, computers, toys, iPods, clothes, busyness, cleanliness, alcohol, etc...  All stuff we place so much importance on instead of the REAL THING - GOD OUR HEAVENLY FATHER.  Let's get focused on the real God and His Son, Jesus Christ.  The rest are all fakes - don't get "taken" by the world's gods.

Family Discussion Points!

What is your family's favorite evening activity?  Is it a god or just an activity?

What gods do you have in your life?  Each family member can share things they place above God, our Father.

Discuss how all those things that can become gods are not bad except when we give them priority over God.  That is when they are not good.

October 17, 2011

Partners in Parenting

A Good Kind of Pain!

It is Monday, and my body hurts like crazy today.  I woke up yesterday sore too.  On Saturday, I played about an hour and a half of football and baseball with some young kids.  It was great fun, but my body reminded me on Sunday morning that I was not prepared ahead of time for that activity.  Then, Jen and I cleaned up our landscape plants that were a bit overgrown all Sunday afternoon.  Five hours of pulling, clipping, bagging, raking, hoeing, etc.  My body must not think too much of my intelligence.  After all, it (my body) already told me I had overexerted the day before.  Yes, I'm in some pain today, but yes, it was worth it.  Playing football and baseball was fun.  Looking at our landscape Sunday night was very rewarding.  As I felt the pain settling in before bed Sunday night, I thought about how pain isn't always a bad thing.  I could have skipped playing football and baseball, but I would have missed out on fun and building relationships.  I could have skipped working on the landscape, but it wouldn't look nice like it does now.  As a parent, I need to remember that disciplining my kids creates pain in their life - but it is a good kind of pain.  It is good because it helps mold their character so that, like playing football, positive relationships can be experienced.  It is good because it helps mold their character so that, like landscaping, a more beautiful thing results.  God disciplines us because He loves us, and we, as parents, need to discipline our kids because we love them. 

Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Family Discussion Points!

Share a few times when you overexerted yourself and were sore the next day.

Talk about the positive sides to experiencing pain.  (Pain is a great teacher, isn't it?)

Discuss the importance of discipline in life in various aspects (exercise, promptness, reliability, good choices, etc.)

Develop a discipline that you want to start as a family.  It may be painful to do, but it will be worth it.  (Family devotions, game night, outside walk once/week, etc.)

Partners in Parenting

Changing Your Role!

The duties of parents are so vast that it is hard to even try to list them all.  I just know that your role changes with many factors including the age of your child, which child you are interacting with, the nature of the issue at hand, etc.  Parents fulfill a very different role for a 6 month old child than they do for a 6 year old child – or a 16 year old young adult!  Changing your role is necessary because some issues need you to be forceful and direct while other times, it is entirely appropriate that you are soft, comforting, and reassuring.  As you read this, I’d like you to consider how your role changes as you fulfill all that it means to be a parent.  You may think, “WOW, I’m really confusing my kid because of how I have so many different roles in their life.  Take comfort, you are not confusing them.  You are meeting their needs to the best of your ability based on where they are at today.  Their needs are very different and changing (and they’ll continue to be that way).  Your children are very different.  Each circumstance is very different.  However, you need to be a constant for your children in the fact that you are here to love them no matter what.  Your role will change, but your love never will.  Make sure they know that, and make sure they know that it is the same way with Jesus.  “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  John 15:13

Family Discussion Points!

Parents - list all your roles (parent, spouse, employee, etc.)

Kids - list all your roles (student, teammate, friend, helper, etc.)

Talk about roles you used to play for your child (like diaper changer) that you don't have to do any longer.

Talk about some roles you think are coming in the future.

Discuss how roles will change, but your love for each other never will!!

Partners in Parenting

A "Run-In with the Law"

I have to admit that I had a "run-in with the Law" on Saturday night.  Here's what happened:

I went to the farm where I grew up to enjoy participating in opening day of bow season here in Michigan.  I hunted until dark, walked back to the house, and went in to see my dad.  My dad came outside just as I was ready to open the door.  He said, "Man, am I glad to see you.  I was worried something happened out there."  I didn't really understand why he was so concerned, but he said it was because I wasn't back right away when it got dark.  We talked for a little bit before a Deputy Sheriff pulled into the driveway.  He jumped out of his truck and asked me if I was the missing person.  I couldn't believe it!  My dad had called 911 to report me missing since I wasn't back right at the time it became dark.  I had to give my personal information as a report needed to be filed, but I was otherwise "free to go!"  As I drove home, I was reminded of how I've had other experiences with police officers in my life.  They helped me remember to obey laws to keep myself and others safe.  That's when I connected it to God's Law in Scripture.  I was "free to go" on Saturday night because I hadn't done anything wrong, BUT I am "free to go" to heaven even though I've done everything wrong in life.  How is that possible - faith in Jesus Christ!  Jesus has paid the price for all my sins.  That is true for all Christians.  Freedom is found in Christ for all the times we fail as we have a "run-in with His law."

Romans 8:1-2 says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

Family Discussion Points!

Parents, share a few stories of your "run-ins with the law."  (No, this won't be perceived as a "license" to go break the law too.)

Talk about what it means to be "free to go" when you haven't done something wrong vs. "free to go" for eternity when you have done something wrong - sin.

Discuss:  Is the law good or bad?