“Because I Said So!”
During dismissal the
other day, I was calling out kids names based upon the vehicle of their
parents. I do this most every day, and I
think I’m getting pretty good at it at this point of the school year. I even recognized the vehicle of a young
student’s aunt on this particular day – or so I thought!!
I asked the young boy,
“Is that your aunt’s grey car in line?”
“Nope. That’s not hers”
was his quick response, so I didn’t have him get ready to go home.
As his aunt drove up to
pick him up, he very matter-of-factly pointed out to me, “See Mr. Petzold, her
car is silver.”
I was laughing so hard
inside at his assurance that silver is silver.
It is NOT grey. I couldn’t tell
the difference. So why couldn’t grey and
silver be the same? Well, because he
said so. I don’t think I could have
convinced him if I tried, that a grey car and silver car are essentially the
same thing. I decided to not bother
explaining and just enjoy the good laugh for the day.
As a parent, I still
use, “Because I said so…” with my kids from time to time. I generally explain the rationale for rules,
consequences, saying “no” to requests they make, etc., but sometimes, I don’t
explain myself more than to say, “Because I said so.” Some people may think I should always
explain, but due to the loving and trusting relationship a parent has with
their child, an explanation isn’t always needed. Over time, children learn that their parents
have love and good things in mind for them in all situations. At the heart of the issue is TRUST. Children trust parents who are consistently
creating boundaries that are clear – much more clear than the difference
between grey and silver.
The 10 commandments from
God are very clear. I find it
interesting that he doesn’t explain why to any of the commandments until the 4th
one: “Honor
your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord you
God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12 Before that one, there is no explanation from
God, but the Israelites were to obey out of trust for God simply “because He
said so.”
Family Discussion
Points!
Why are there rules and
boundaries in every home? Are they
loving or hurtful?
Is “Because I said so”
an acceptable response in your home? Why
or why not?
Why is explaining
boundaries important? Why is not
having to explain boundaries important?
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