Partners in Parenting

“Idiosyncrasies!”

I finally got a new coat for winter recently.  I’ve had the same one for almost 20 years, and I knew it was time.  Love the coat, but the frigid cold over the past few weeks revealed something very odd about this coat – it crinkles really loudly when it’s cold.  It is like the whole outer fabric is frozen solid, and I’m breaking it free with every move.  Talk about an odd thing for a winter coat.  Odd things are like idiosyncrasies.

Idiosyncrasies – we all have them.  Every person I know does certain things, in certain ways, at certain times, for certain reasons, to certain people, and usually without certain knowledge that it is even happening.  We all just have these things we do. 

For instance: 

Kids know what parents do when frustrated and about to “take action.”  Just ask them.  So what is it:  grunt, sigh, get quiet, flubber your lips, grit your teeth, roll your eyes, raise your eyebrows, stiffen your shoulders, and lots of other things unique to each person? 

Kids know when their parent is about to give them a hug.  They walk a certain way, extend arms, wipe hands off, or some other indicator that they are going to hug you.  Parents also know when their kids are coming to get a hug or give a hug.  Over time, you just learn these things.

It is good that we are all different and yet function well together.  Paul talked about that in the early church as a very valuable asset to the believers.  Idiosyncrasies are also very valuable to your family life.  “…so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”  Romans 12:5

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about the cool, neat, or enjoyable idiosyncrasies of others in your family.

Play this game:  Who in your family is the most: organized, happy, relaxed, responsible, hard-working, joking, considerate, empathetic to the needs of others, helpful without being asked, likely to sleep in, determined to overcome, etc.

Now think about your pets, grandparents, or other people you generally love and see if you can identify some of their idiosyncrasies that make them, well…just them!!!

Partners in Parenting

“Plans are only plans.  Reality is what counts!”

As the principal, I get to review all the teachers’ lesson plans each week.  They hand them in on Monday, and I make sure I go through them by the end of the day Monday.  I enjoy seeing all the great things the teachers are doing with their kids.  The projects, Bible stories, literature, writing assignments, art, math, etc. are interesting for me to see.  However, I have to admit that there is one teacher’s plans that I like better than any other.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I like them all, but one set of plans makes me laugh out loud every time – because I have NO IDEA WHAT THEY MEAN!  Can you guess what teacher??  See below for the answer.

The last time I looked at these plans, I was reminded of how these plans really mean nothing to me because I can’t read very much of them.  What matters to me is the reality of what is happening in that classroom – and it is awesome.  I think I’m confused looking at lesson plans, but I get really confused seeing the lesson plans in action because not only can I not understand the teacher…I can’t understand the students.  With that being the case, I know it must be good stuff happening.

I’m also reminded of how our kids look forward to things.  Planning a trip is fun, but actually going on the trip is what counts.  Planning to play a family game tomorrow night is a great idea, but actually playing a game together is what really counts.  Planning becomes meaningless if it isn’t followed by reality!

Jesus tells a short parable of two sons in Matthew 21:28-32.  Both sons make a plan regarding their father’s request, but only one follows his father’s request and works in the vineyard.  Jesus is clearly sharing with the Pharisees that there is a huge distinction between planning to follow God and actually following God.  It took some lesson plans to remind me of that truth!

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about a time when you planned to do something as a family, and for some reason it didn’t happen.  How did that feel?

Talk about the Bible passage in Matthew 21, and what it means to plan to obey your parents and actually obey your parents.

Can you guess without looking below whose lesson plans I’m referring to above?  If not, see the end of this section.

Mrs. Anne Phillips – Spanish

Partners in Parenting

“What is that?!?!”

I went to the closet this morning to get my coat before leaving for school.  I noticed some small round object on the floor near the closet door.  I started to bend over to pick it up figuring it was something rather ordinary.  At the last moment, I decided I probably shouldn’t pick it up since I didn’t know what it was.  The area of the floor was dark, so I turned on the light to see what it could be.  My foot was right beside this thing when the light went on, but I quickly jumped back once I could see it.  I was rather astonished!!

Here’s a picture.  Can you guess what it is on the rug??

I immediately started thinking things like bloated spider, poisonous snail out of its shell, fungus growing out of control, etc.  Then I started thinking about whether it was alive, dead, soft, hard, fast or slow moving, non-moving, poisonous to touch, etc.  I was utterly confused, and kept thinking to myself, “What is that?”

I took a picture before finding out for myself what it was on the rug.

This whole event this morning made me think of Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem.  People had no idea what that child would do.  People could not fully understand who that child was in being God sent down to earth.  Shepherds heard of his birth and came looking for that child wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger, but did they fully comprehend the fact that that child was the Savior of the world?  The innkeeper, the animals in the stable, the people in town who were relatives of Joseph, and anyone else around when Jesus was born wouldn’t have known the destiny of that child or all of humankind because of His life, death, and resurrection.

Far too often, I keep thinking of baby Jesus during the Christmas season, and I don’t think about Savior Jesus...  even though that child is both baby and Savior.  The angel told the shepherds exactly what they needed to know about that child in Bethlehem:  “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.”  Luke 2:11

Family Discussion Points!

Take a guess at what the object in the picture is.  You can write down your guesses or email me if you’d likeJ

Talk about the people alive when Jesus was born and what they would have thought about this new baby.  Do you think they would have had any idea who was just born?

As you celebrate Christmas, don’t focus too much on the “What is that?” and miss out on understanding “Who is that?”

Partners in Parenting

“Memories CAN be relived!”

This past weekend, our family relived an old and very happy memory.  We’ve always had a real Christmas tree.  The only memory our kids have had (with the exception of 2013) is going to a farm and finding our own Christmas tree.  Once we find the perfect tree, we then have to cut it down ourselves, drag it to where the tractor and wagon will pick us up, and wait for the farmer to deliver us and the tree back to our vehicle.  We did this over the weekend at the same farm the kids had gone to for years when they were young.  It was a wonderful time, and it brought back lots of events and stories from the past.  The kids ran around looking at trees and declaring, “This is the one!”  However, when the others in the family gave it a good looking-over, it was not “the one.”  So the search continued while walking through acres of trees on the farm until finally, way in the back of the farm, the perfect tree was identified.  I cut it down, and it fell on top of Evan – yes, another memory was made.  He was not injured, but we all had a great laugh together.  It is now a memory that will be relived again.  Maybe not physically relived, but I bet it will be told someday so we can relive it again…and again…and again…

Parent make memories for their family in the traditions of the family.  Sometimes, we aren’t even aware of those memories being made.  Think about some memories together and relive them as a family.  Either relive them physically by going there and doing that, or by talking about them!  Either way, they are being relived and create happy memories as you can see from the picture of my kids!

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about Christmas memories that are a part of your family.  When did they start?  Did you plan to have that memory be an important memory or did it just happen?

Telling stories about the past can help connect kids to their roots.  Share memories from your own Christmas celebrations growing up.  Your kids will love it.

If you want to start a new memory for your kids, NOW is the time to do it.  Talk about that as spouses to determine what you might want to start.

Partners in Parenting

“Location, Location, Location!”

Location really matters in real estate.  The positioning of your home in a community, on a certain street, near a certain landmark (lake), or in a desired neighborhood clarifies the value of your home. 

Location matters with the weather.  I was only an hour and a half north of home last weekend, and I watched it snow off and on all weekend.  We only got about two inches.  A little further north, the people there got 18 or more inches.  Going even further north (but still in Michigan), people there got over 24 inches of snow!  I drove home and found no snow at all.  While Michigan people consider inches of snow, my niece in Florida sent us pictures of their family on the boat enjoying a sunny 80 degree day.  Yes, location matters when it comes to weather!

Location matters with our hearts too.  That may sound strange, but the Bible talks about the heart all the time.  Here are just a few references:

“…let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith…” Hebrews 10:22

[Jesus said] “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”  Matthew 15:8

Location of the heart close to God or far from God looks and feels differently as we live each day.  When you think about the location of your heart, also consider the location of your child’s heart.  Keeping their heart close to God is a huge job, but the truth is that many times the location of a child’s heart is fairly similar to that of their parents.

Family Discussion Points!

Name things that are near or far in your house, neighborhood, Detroit, Michigan, USA.

As a family, talk about what a heart near to God is like and a heart far from God is like.

These are hard questions to talk about, but I pray God will use the discussion to bring your family closer to God.

Partners in Parenting

“A Wonderful “Drug” for your Kids!”

I don’t know anyone currently addicted to drugs, but I’ve known a few during my lifetime.  With the drugs, they are happy, content, outgoing, and generally satisfied with life.  Without the drugs, they have been irritable, “crazy,” depressed, and generally discontent with life.  The drugs I’m referring to above would be things like nicotine, alcohol, prescription drugs, and other street drugs.  I’m not talking about antibiotics or drugs to help cure diseases.

So here’s a great “drug” for your kids – SLEEP!  This past weekend, things just happened so that by Monday morning I was so sleep deprived, I did not feel like myself.  I was irritable, “crazy,” depressed, and generally discontent with life.  I ended up sleeping most of Monday, and then Monday night.  Today (Tuesday), I feel like a normal human being again.  I got my “fix” of the sleep my body was craving.  I found some research from the Sleep Foundation recommending kids between age 5 and 17 get between 8.5 and 11 hours of sleep each night.  The foundation recommends 7 - 9 hours of sleep for adults.  It is also understood that individuals all require different amounts based upon their own individuality.

However, I’d bet most of the people I see each day do not get enough sleep to be well rested.  Sleep is a wonderful “drug” for our kids – and all of us.  Rest is obviously important enough that God decided to get some:  “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.”  Genesis 2:2

Family Discussion Points!

Does everyone in your family get enough rest each night, in general?

Why do you or why don’t you get enough rest – answers can be very different for each person.

Could/Should your family consider bedtimes for everyone?  Think about it a bit this week.

Partners in Parenting

“I think God is a Planner!”

I am not the world’s greatest planner.  My calendar is planned out for 3 years on many things, but when it comes to organizing every detail of planning an event – I’m NOT the guy to do that.  I remember having a cookout years ago with the whole church and school staff at my house.  We were having hot dogs, hamburgers, and a dish to pass from everyone there.  I led the prayer before we ate, and God spoke to me during that prayer.  God spoke so clearly, it was amazing!  Here is what He said (remember, He said this as I was leading a prayer with about 60 people in my back yard):

God said, “Hey, Julian!  You forgot to get buns.”

I kept praying, but the reality was maybe that I was stalling to say amen and admit to forgetting buns.  I had all the ketchup, mustard, onions, relish, tomatoes, etc. for hot dogs and hamburgers, but no buns.  After praying, I admitted my mistake and everyone laughed (except my wife).  She felt bad for me.  She is a great planner of this stuff.  I am not.

As I look at creation, it is easy for me to see that God was planning way ahead of anything we could even imagine.  Look at the trees changing colors.  Consider the human body and everything we are just now discovering about his creation.  Think about salvation through Jesus who lived on the earth 2,000 years ago.  God is a planner, and this week, I came across something that really had meaning about the kind of planning He is still doing.  He is planning to provide us with opportunities to do good things for others as we live our lives.  Ephesians 2:10  “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Family Discussion Points!

Who is the BEST planner in your family?  Who loves to “fly by the seat of their pants?”

Where do you see people spend the most time planning for a certain event (party, wedding, graduation, etc.)?

Talk about what it means to plan for eternity with Jesus?  If you plan to have faith in Jesus your whole life, what gets high priority?

How does it feel to know God planned for you to do good works for other people?