Partners in Parenting

“Finding Value!”

I don’t like shopping, but I like it when I find what I am intending to buy – and it’s on SALE!!  It makes me feel good to get more value for my dollar.  One of my kids commented yesterday, “When I’m old enough to drive, gas is going to be $20.”  A family conversation about the value of things over time launched from that statement.  It made me think about what I value in life.  Have you thought about that lately?  I haven’t, and yet, I know that considering what I value will impact how I live my life, with whom I spend time, and where I will invest my energy.  God has found value in humankind, and He sent his son to die for everyone.  We are that valuable to Him!  In talking about birds and humans, Jesus said, “Are you not much more valuable than they [birds]?” Matthew 6:26.  I encourage you to talk about the things you value in life with your family.

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about the things each family member values.  Talk about the people each family member values.  Prioritize worship and time with God against all the things you mentioned as things you value.

Consider things that have little or no value to you.

Talk about value over time – my kids really understood the value of toys that were expensive when they first came out compared to their value today (Nintendo DS, iPod, etc.).

Partners in Parenting

“Significant Days!”

I have been spending a great deal of time with my dad lately until he died in the Lord on October 17, 2012.  He broke his hip on

September 25^th.  He had been in the hospital and a nursing home since being taken by ambulance from his farm.  Those days leading up to October 17^th are going to be very memorable for me.  I watched him quickly decline in health and in spirit.  I watched him deal with intense pain.  I saw him struggle to gather his thoughts to express what he was thinking.  That is the down-side of those days.  The up-side of those days is that I got to talk to him about his life and learn new things.  I never knew that he got to play one game of football and one game of baseball each year.  Otherwise, he had to work on the farm.  I also got to speak German to him because he spoke German and English growing up.  In his last five days, he rarely spoke in English at all.  He and I never really spoke German to each other, but we did for five days. 

October 17^th has been a significant date for my dad.  His great-grandfather died on October 17, 1890.  He and his dad were in a car accident on October 17, 1961, and his dad eventually died over a month later from injuries sustained in the accident.  He even commented to me before that “maybe I’ll go on October 17^th too.”  Yes, a significant day for him during his life.

The truth is – every day has significance.  My dad’s final days on earth are significant to me, but so are all the days I spent with him from my birth until his final days.  I am vividly reminded that all days have significance, and I want to remember that as I parent my own children.  The things parents do or don’t do in the life of their child matter and are significant.  As my dad is now in heaven, I’d have to say that he is now living the most significant days he’ll ever have because he is with Jesus!!  Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  My dad’s favorite verse.

Family Discussion Points!

What are some significant dates on the calendar for your family?

Talk about your favorite family memories from the last year – just to remind others of the significance of time together.

Talk about how significant it is for us to spend eternity with Jesus above anything we accomplish here on earth.

Partners in Parenting

“The ‘Laundry Fairy’”!

I got home late in the evening yesterday, and I was overjoyed to discover that the “Laundry Fairy” had come to the house while I was gone.  While nobody was looking, I gave a quick fist pump in celebration that I wouldn’t have to be the “Laundry Fairy” this time.  We call the “Laundry Fairy” the person or people who fold the laundry for the family.  At our house, the clean laundry gets put on the couch until it gets folded for everyone to take upstairs to their dresser.  The hard part was done, and I was so happy that someone else had done the work.  The “Laundry Fairy” is a light-hearted way that we keep the work done around the house that needs to get done for our home to function smoothly.  Yes, work is required for homes to function smoothly!  What about your home?  Is everyone doing work to help and support the needs of the family?  What about making meals, setting the table, cleaning, chores, homework, etc., etc., etc.  Many times work is viewed as a curse instead of a blessing.  That is not so.  Work is a blessing given by God for serving others.  “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” Genesis 2:15

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about who is the “Laundry Fairy” at your house.  Do you have any other “Fairies” to mention??

Thank family members for the work they do around the house on a daily basis.  Make this an on-going habit to notice the work of others and thank them.

Talk about how doing work is a blessing even when we see it as a real “pain in the neck” to have to do.  (NOTE: Work is a blessing because it is one of the things God put man on the earth to do – work in order to care for things and people He has given you.)  Is work an act of love?  Talk about it.

Partners in Parenting

“Singular or Plural?”

Singular means one.  Plural means more than one.  Seems pretty simple, but our house has become infected with pluralistic tendencies!  Let me explain:

 The alarm goes off, and I say to Jen “Good morning, Honey” in a soft voice.  She usually quietly responds with “Good morning, Hun” in a similar soft tone.  She then calls our chocolate lab up on the bed to lay by her and says in a louder and high-pitched voice (z is used to reflect the actual sound spoken), “Goodz morningz Zekes.  Mommaz loves youz soz muches – yes Iz doz!  Youz suchez az goodz boyz!”  And on and on it goes!  She talks to the dog in a completely plural tense all the time.  It seems crazy, and you might wonder where she got this strange behavior.  I’ll tell you – Logan!  Logan started it and still does the same thing.  I laugh and tease them a bit when I hear this.  I like to remind them we only have one dog named Zeke, not two or three.

This reminds me of how God in the world today has really become like gods to many people.  The thinking that “they are really all the same god” is very pervasive and pluralistic – and it is also 100% false.  There is only one God.  The rest are phonies!  Our kids need to know about that because they can be deceived if they are not aware of the truth on this point.  The Old Testament is filled with idol worship (gods), and the Israelites had a hard time resisting alternate gods.  It was real then, and it is real today.  It is important in our Christian walk that we get that right!!  “Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.”  Deuteronomy 6:4

Family Discussion Points!

What “other gods” exist today from religions or life in general?

Name some things where it would be strange to have only one in your entire house (TV, sink, door, etc.)  Name some things where it would be strange to have more than one in your entire house (kitchen, driveway, etc.)

Discuss why this idea of only one God is important to be clear on!!

Partners in Parenting

“Planning Ahead!”

I enjoyed some time in the woods this past weekend.  I enjoyed seeing many things in God’s wonderful creation, but I was really intrigued by the squirrels scurrying here and there all morning.  The multiple squirrels I saw were busy dropping acorns from the trees at the very end of tiny branches.  They would do this for 15 – 20 minutes before climbing down the tree to collect the acorns.  They would collect the acorns one at a time and bury the acorn in the moist soil in the woods.  They would continue to dig a hole, hide an acorn; dig a hole, hide an acorn; dig a hole, hide an acorn…  This went on for hours as the squirrels made preparations for the coming winter months.  If they didn’t hide the acorns, other animals would come eat them, and the squirrels would be short of food this winter.  In short, the squirrels were planning ahead.  Seeing this happen reminded me of my need to plan ahead as a parent.  Plan ahead for activities coming up that the kids are involved in, plan for meals, plan for college, plan for driver’s training, plan for ______(you can fill in the blank with lots of things).  However, as I think about the future for my kids, I’m reminded of the importance of focusing on what really matters.  Having enough food really matters to the squirrel!  What really matters to a human being?  Faith in Jesus Christ will secure the future for my children in life on earth and life for eternity.  Right now, I’m really good at being busy like the squirrels are, but I have to be busy about the important things that pass on faith in Jesus.  I can’t lose track of that in my busyness with all the other activities of parenting.  The faith future of my kids depends so much on my ability to be “planning ahead” right now.  “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

Family Discussion Points!

Plan ahead for a family activity this weekend.  Then enjoy the activity together.

Talk about busyness and how important it all is or isn’t for your family.

Discuss all the ways you are “planning ahead” for the faith of your family (worship, prayer, reading the Bible, Christian education, Bible Study, helping others, using God’s Word to guide your life, etc.)

Partners in Parenting

“Coming Alive!”

Over the weekend, I cut some of the dead stalks growing out of the center of my hosta plants on the side of my garage.  Afterward, I walked into the back yard and noticed all the dead Black-Eyed Susan stalks where beautiful yellow flowers once bloomed.  Yep, Summer is coming to an end as Autumn begins on Saturday, so lots of plants, leaves, grass, etc. will begin to die off.  It has to die so it can come to life again in the spring.  I started thinking to myself: “What makes me ‘come alive?’  What makes my kids’ come alive?’  What did God design them for doing in life?”  I “come alive” in the fall because I love the cool air and spending time outdoors.  Cool days energize me.  My kids “come alive” due to different things from sports to friends to activities.  It was neat to consider their uniqueness in light of who God has made them to be.  People tend to “come alive” when they are doing things that bring them great joy because it is a part of who they are.  Some kids love sports; some music; some theater; some reading; some socializing; some working with their hands; etc.  Parents consider your kids!  When do you see them “come alive?”  It is a clue into who God has made them to be, and God clearly cares about each one of us – “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.”  Luke 12:7

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about your favorite season of the year and why.

Parents, make a list of things that you think makes each of your kids “come alive.”  Share it with them.

Talk about the Top 5 activities each family member enjoys doing pretending that they are the only 5 things they can do with their free time for the rest of 2012.

Partners in Parenting

Instant Recognition!

There are some people that you can instantly recognize when you see them.  Those people are typically famous people that we get to see fairly often thanks to the media.  But there are other people we recognize from years gone by.  I had this happen a few weeks ago at a Detroit Tigers game. 

At the conclusion of the game, people began to stand up to leave.  Before I stood up (in Row 42 of my section), I noticed a large man in the front row stand up.  I instantly told my wife, “That is Dan who just stood up.  Look, that’s Dan!”  Doubt crept into my mind, but then the man turned sideways, and I thought, “Oh yeah, that’s Dan alright!  Where is his wife Nancy?”  Shortly afterward, I spotted Nancy, and I had all the doubt erased that the person I instantly noticed from behind and 42 rows away was truly Dan.  Now understand, I haven’t seen Dan in 10-15 years, but Dan spent about as much time with my brother and me growing up as any of my other siblings.  My kids have heard numerous stories about Dan.  The amazing stories about Dan have almost given Dan legendary status with my kids.  Dan got to meet my kids, and I got to meet his.  My kids just stood there looking at him in disbelief – this guy they have heard of for so long is actually real.  I recognized him in an instant, but my kids couldn’t believe they were actually looking at the Dan they had heard about so often.

The disciples had a hard time recognizing Jesus as the Messiah, but eventually they did (Mark 8:29 “But what about you?”  Jesus asked. “Who do you say that I am?”  Peter answered, “You are the Christ.”)  Do we always recognize God all around us?  Where?  I hope you can instantly recognize God all around you – He deserves instant recognition!

 

Family Discussion Points!

Have every family member share people who they think everyone will instantly recognize when they see them (President Obama, etc.)

Parents, share a story with your kids about a childhood friend.

Discuss where you see God all around you and why?  examples: 

• in nature because He is the creator of every drop of water, tree, plant, animal, cloud, etc. (Genesis 1);
• in acts of love and kindness because He is defined as love (I John 4:8) so love comes from Him;
• in the Bible because God is the Word (John 1:1)