Partners in Parenting

 “Are you a ‘CRAZY’ parent?”
As if the question in the title wasn’t bad enough, let me give you the answer:  YES, you are a crazy parent!  And you should be.  We all are to some extent.  Love is a crazy thing that makes a person do crazy things.  For instance, I’ve come to really like movies that are classified as romantic comedies.  I used to loathe them.  My love for my wife has brought me to watch a ton of them with her, and now, I actually like them.  Love made me do it!
Our love for our kids make us more sensitive to their hurts, aware of their limitations, anxious about their failures, upset about their poor treatment from others, etc.  Ever feel your “blood boil” toward another person (child or adult) who has made your child feel less than fabulous.  I have, and it’s because I can become “CRAZY” with my love for my kids.  It isn’t easy all the time, but I try to keep a broad perspective on my kids and life in general to help me place everything in its proper context.
Parents are supposed to love their kids with a “crazy” kind of love, but that love also should be smothered in a great deal of perspective on life.  We learned to have a “crazy” love for our kids from God.  After all, only a “crazy” kind of love would have our Father in heaven send His Son, Jesus, to be our Savior despite our hurts, limitations, failures, and poor treatment.  Love made Him do it.  “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

Family Discussion Points!
As parents, is it hard to see your kids with perspective?  What are they good at?  Not so good at?  Need help with?  Can teach others about?
Is it good to be a “crazy” parent?  Yes, No, or both.  Talk about it.
How does life change knowing you have a “crazy” parent in God?

Partners in Parenting

“This doesn’t make sense, but it is right!”

Yesterday, I did something very strange for only the 2nd time in my entire life.  It seemed weird to do, but I knew it had to be done!  I kind of felt wrong in doing it because it goes against everything I have been taught as an American.  I was a little sad before I did what I did, but during and afterward, I felt a strange kind of pride and reverence.  I remember the last time I did this, and I had the same kind of feelings.  I’m sure I’ll do this again someday.  I don’t think it will ever become just a normal event for me.  As I stood next to our small campfire in the backyard yesterday, I remember saying to myself, “This doesn’t make sense, but it is right!”  Having thought that, I went ahead and did what I knew I had to do.

Wondering what I did?  I placed an American flag in the fire to burn.  Our flag has flown outside except in extreme weather for the past two years.  This past winter really took a toll on it.  It was torn, tattered, and unworthy to fly outside our house any longer.  Why did I burn it?  Here’s what I found on the internet today, but I knew before that burning it was the right thing to do.

As a revered symbol of freedom and justice, the flag of the United States of America needs to be treated with the utmost respect. This respect extends to the flag's eventual retirement and destruction. The United States Flag Code (4 USC Sec 8 Para (k) Amended 7 July 1976) states: "The Flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem of display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning."

As I did this, I was reminded that God can be that way too.  His ways don’t always make sense, but His ways are right!  Like this:  “For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law.”  Romans 3:28

Family Discussion Points!

Play a fun game of “right or wrong” at the dinner table.  Give an action and have the kids guess if it is right or wrong.  (example:  You buy something and get too much change for your $10 bill, and you leave happy that you have extra money.)

Talk about how God doesn’t always make sense to us because He is God, and we are not.  Focus on how He decides to love everyone, even sinners.  Typically, you get punished for doing bad things, but God gives forgiveness to everyone who believes.

Partners in Parenting

“Don’t Quit!”

I really enjoy exercising.  I like all kinds of sports, and I enjoy the physical activity of playing sports.  Basketball, hockey, ultimate Frisbee, running, biking, volleyball, etc. is all fun to me.  I like being a bit out of breath during an activity.  I like mildly sore or “tight” muscles the next day.  I like the positive energy in my body that exercise creates.  Since I’ve only had a few sports injuries in my whole life, exercise has a huge “up-side” for my body and overall health.  I’ve been thinking about this so much as I anxiously await the arrival of warm weather to start exercising regularly again.  The truth is though, I have just used the weather as an excuse since winter started.  My exercise pattern has been very sporadic since then, and I’ve gotten started a few times without continuing.  Why?  I could give a list of reasons (starting with the schedule of my three kids), but in the end, I wouldn’t be giving you reasons, I’d be giving you excuses.  There is a difference between the two.  Ask your child to clean their room tonight and listen to their response.  Do they give you reasons or excuses for why they can’t do it tonight???

My spiritual life can be just like my exercise life – sporadic.  The habit of daily prayer, weekly worship, regular reading of my Bible, and time spent talking to God are all things with a huge “up-side” without any “down-side” at all.  I just have to remember to discipline myself to not give up once I start.  Like exercising, when I quit the healthy patterns of my daily walk with God, I lose out.  I want to encourage you to start if you haven’t yet or continue if you’ve already started – exercising and spending daily time with God.  Either way, don’t quit!

Paul wrote to the early church:  “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.”  I Corinthians 9:24

Family Discussion Points!

Is it hard for you to start exercising or keep exercising or both?

What is the long-term benefit of exercise to the body?

What is the long-term benefit of exercise in daily walking with God?

What is the consequence for quitting and why is it easy to quit?

Partners in Parenting

“Who Did It?”

• Mud on the kitchen floor someone tracked into the house
• The rug by the shower door is soaked from someone who got out without drying off
• The refrigerator door was left open all day by just a crack
• A basketball was left outside overnight
• The lights in the basement were left on
• My tools in the garage were used and not put away

Here’s a short list of things that might happen in any home as parents wonder “who did it” while raising their kids.  Parents, don’t want to jump to conclusions about who is guilty, but the older a child gets, the easier it is to know if he/she are the ones “who did it” without even having to ask.

Well, here is a question for your family to discuss, then seek the answer in scripture:  Who raised Jesus from the dead?  Was it Jesus himself?  Angels?  God?  The Holy Spirit?  Hmm.  Who actually did it?? 

Just like at home when you aren’t sure who did something, you have to do some investigating.  The place to investigate this is in the Bible.  The ONE and ONLY source of absolute truth that we have in the world today!

Family Discussion Points!

Let everyone in the family share who they think raised Jesus from the dead.  Let it be a discussion.  Ask why people think what they think.

Then, get out your Bible and look up Acts 2:32 and Acts 4:10 to find the answer!!

Partners in Parenting

“Sleep Deprivation!”

I had the opportunity to travel to Florida with my family over Spring Break this year.  We left after school on Friday and drove straight through until late afternoon on Saturday.  After our vacation, we left Florida at 10:30pm Friday and drove straight through until Saturday afternoon.  We had two trips.  Both involved driving for 18+ hours in a row with occasional stops for food and gasoline.  I had two very different experiences. 

On the drive down to Florida, I was fine until about 3:30am.  Jen drove until about 6:30am while I slept.  We stopped for breakfast, and I just never felt very good.  I thought I was “walking in a cloud” the whole time.  I drove a bit more, but I couldn’t make it.  I was just too tired to function behind the wheel.  Jen drove again.  Eventually, I had enough sleep and was able to drive the rest of the way.

On the drive back home, I only slept one hour while Jen drove.  I drove the rest of the way without any sleepiness or problems.

Why so different?????  Well, I really think that I began the trip to Florida tired from all the planning, packing, etc. to get ready to go on vacation.  On the way home, I was coming off six good days of rest and relaxation (I honestly don’t recall ever sleeping in so late in my entire life as on this vacation).  I was rested for the return trip.

Sleep deprivation is a serious problem.  It can do things to people…change them…conquer them…destroy them…magnify their weaknesses…break them down!  Yes, sleep deprivation is serious.  Consider the disciples in the garden who were Jesus’ closest disciples (Peter, James, and John).  They were chosen to support Jesus in his deepest hour of need for prayer, and they fell asleep.  He woke them up, but three times they fell asleep.  Jesus loved them, but their sleep deprivation conquered them.  “When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.”  Matthew 26:43  I don’t think any of them WANTED to abandon Jesus, but they did.  Adequate sleep is good for people.  That’s probably why God used the 7^th day of creation to rest – to show us our need for it!

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about what happens to people in your family when they don’t get enough sleep (anyone get crabby??).

Besides sleep, have each person name another thing they don’t want to be deprived of having (TV, food, water, faith).  Why did you answer like you did?

Do you need to change your bedtime to be sure you are getting enough rest?  Do you need to find time to “rest” from the busyness of life to rest in the presence of God and His Word?

Partners in Parenting

“Identifying the Source!”

This morning, I woke up hearing two “chirps” that sounded distant and muffled, but I could clearly hear them.  I began to investigate the one that I was pretty sure I knew.  I let the dog out, stood in the doorway for five seconds, and, “Yep, I nailed that one! It is a robin waking up the neighborhood.”  It only sounded muffled because I was inside the house.

Now for the other sound…  It was a faint chirp that sounded like a smoke alarm battery going dead, or an appliance alarm, or a cell phone going dead, or a malfunction of some kind of electrical item?????  It chirped about every 30 seconds.  I walked all over the house listening for the source of the chirp, but I couldn’t find it.  I stood by every smoke detector and listened, but the chirp would come from another location.  I just couldn’t nail down the exact location (and I’d been at it for over 10 minutes).  I had some papers to file down in the basement so I went down to the file cabinet.  There it was…but louder than before.  Hah, I was going to solve the mystery.  Well, I finally did.  It was the carbon monoxide detector that I keep in the furnace room.  The batteries were going dead, and that was my notification.  I finally identified the source, but it took quite some time.

This whole situation reminded me of how easy and hard it can be to identify sin.  I had no problem recognizing the chirp of a bird which was outside, but I had trouble recognizing the chirp of the alarm that was inside.  Kind of like how I can sometimes find the sin in others much more easily than I can find the sin in myself.  Seeing other people’s faults and sins is like identifying the robin this morning (easy), but seeing my own faults is like identifying the source of the chirp inside the house (difficult).  During Lent, we are to focus on our sinfulness, not others sinfulness, in expectation of the forgiveness that each of us freely receives each day.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”  Matthew 7:3

Family Discussion Points!

Whistle a song or make a sound, and play a game trying to identify the song or sound!

Why do we tend to see other people’s sin instead of our own?

Can each family member mention a sin they struggle with?  (not obeying right away, talking too much, not showing love and care for others, dishonesty, etc.) --- that’s HARD!