Partners in Parenting

“Keeping the Flame going!”

Yesterday, Jen and the kids went to early church and confirmation class before driving up to her sister’s house for haircuts.  I went to Bible study and late church before heading home to spend an afternoon at home – just me and Zeke (chocolate lab) to do as we wished.  I made myself a list of things to get done:  laundry, new pads on the kitchen chairs, organize all my hunting stuff from last fall, organize fishing stuff for the coming season, marinade chicken for supper, sharpen my pocket knife, etc.  I did these things at a relaxed pace while watching the Daytona 500 with the TV volume turned way up.  I also started a fire in the fireplace.  It has been a long time since I had six hours free to do whatever I wanted.  Each task got completed and checked off the list, but one task never even made it onto the list.  It was a task that lasted longer than any other – in fact it lasted into the late evening.  The task of keeping the fire going in the fireplace needed regular attention.  A few times, I looked up from my work to find red coals without a flame.  I had to stir the coals, add wood, and blow on the coals – ah, a beautiful fire emerged again.

Later, when Jen got back home, she was talking to a friend on the phone.  She reminded her friend of a favorite Bible passage.  Here it is:  “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.  For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.”  2 Timothy 1:6,7.  As Jen shared the verse with her friend, I was reminded of how, like tending the fire in the fireplace, we need to be “tending” our faith on a regular basis so we don’t lose it.  If I had ignored the fire, it would have extinguished.  If I ignore my gift of God (faith), it can be something I extinguish as I live life.  Notice, I would extinguish it, not God.  Tending to a fire and tending to our faith – something we need to be vigilant about as God’s people!!

Family Discussion Points!

Who builds fires in your family in the fireplace?  Camping?  Etc.

If you had 6 hours to do whatever you wanted, what would it be?  Each family member share!

How do you “tend” your gift of God (faith) on a regular basis?  Is there something to work on in your life as you consider this?

Partners in Parenting

“Playing Favorites!”

I have another great story from the boys’ bathroom.  As a principal, great boys’ bathroom stories are pretty regular, and last week, I got a little glimpse into why I don’t have any great girls’ bathroom stories.  Here it goes:

I was using the boys’ bathroom last week when a 2^nd grade boy walked in, and he quickly pumped his fist with a big, “YES!!”  I began to chuckle inside, but something told me to just wait for what he’d say next.  He didn’t disappoint me.

“This is my favorite urinal. I like this one the best.  Did you know that?”

I replied, “No, I didn’t know that.  I don’t have a favorite urinal.”

He quipped right back, “You don’t?  You should.  All of us boys have a favorite one.”

I didn’t respond because I was laughing too hard inside.

He goes on, “The boys all have a favorite one, but I don’t think the girls have a favorite.  They never talk about it.  Mr. Petzold, I wonder why they don’t.  Hmm, maybe they just don’t tell us.”

By now, he’s washing his hands, and all I can wonder is if he’s using his favorite sink too!!  Anyway, I just responded, “I just use whatever one I want.”

He dries his hands and said, “Not me. I wait for my favorite.”  Then he skips out the door.  I stood there drying my hands and laughing and thinking and wondering and realizing – no wonder I don’t have a single great girls’ bathroom story – I don’t believe girls think like that! 

I’m a boy, so I wouldn’t know for sure!

Parents, we all might have a favorite color, food, snack, vacation spot, car, etc., but we love all of our kids.  Kids are all different, and some need more help to succeed.  Some need more correction.  Some need more guidance.  Some eat more food.  Basically, some are easier, and some are more difficult.  Like boys and girls are different, no two children are the same.  Be careful about having a favorite child.  God doesn’t do that.  Paul is writing to the church in Rome about how all believers have the same value to God when he writes:  “For God does not show favoritism.” Romans 2:1.1   No favorites!  No matter how different we all are.

Family Discussion Points!

Talk about favorites of all kinds – dessert, TV show, food, game, etc.

Talk about family members differences.

Talk about how God loves us all the same despite our differences.  That’s called unconditional love!

Partners in Parenting

“The Ability to Speak the Truth!”

This past week, I had a very cool conversation with a young man I had just met. He told me that through a personal finance class, he had figured out that “you have to make a lot of money in order to ever be able to save any money.”  That jumped out at my ears since I believe that is one of the lies many of our youth believe.  I asked him if he could save $10 in a bank account from his first paycheck if his paycheck was $100.  He said he probably could do that.  So I told him to decide now to do exactly that – save 10% of whatever his paycheck is for the rest of his life.  I told him he would grow into having enough money if he always “pays himself” with 10% savings every pay day.  He was quietly thinking for a few moments before he said, “Yeah, that would probably work.”  I pray God gives me a chance to talk to him some more about this or other things.  This conversation reminded me of how often I have to point out “lies of the culture” to my own children.  All parents have to do that.  God had to point out Moses’ excuses of an inability to speak well as lies when God asked him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.  [God said] “Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”  Moses believed the lie that he couldn’t speak well and was of no use to God.  God spoke the truth to Moses that he was the perfect spokesman for God in Egypt.  Parents, you are the same spokesman for truth to your kids!

Family Discussion Points!

Play a game of True or False as a family.  Parents, make up some lies to see how the kids respond.

Where can absolute truth be found?  It is only in the Bible, but what about my own truth???  Isn’t that also true?

Talk about how each family member can save some money with whatever they earn.  Don’t forget about CEF Stamps if you aren’t already participating.  Talk to me if you want to learn more.

Partners in Parenting

“Take Your Vitamins!”

One of the morning jobs I have in my house is to get the vitamins out for the kids.  I set them on the counter so they can take them when they eat breakfast.  Now, I’ll admit that the one chewable vitamin tastes what I imagine chewing on a piece of sidewalk chalk would be like.  My kids don’t like that vitamin.  My wife won’t take it.  I only eat it because it is good for me, and I want the kids to eat theirs.  More days than not, it is almost bedtime, and those nasty tasting vitamins, all three of them, are still on the counter providing their nutrients for healthy living to absolutely nobody.  It kind of reminds me of sometimes how kids won’t eat healthy foods like broccoli because it doesn’t taste good.  I’m sure you have foods and vitamins your kids avoid too.  For them, avoidance of an unpleasant taste in their mouth is more of a goal than healthy living.  As a Christian parent, I have to remember that kids will avoid things they don’t like.  Where did they learn to do that?  Hmmm.

I guess I avoid things I don’t like most of the time too – no olives or coconut for me, please!  I avoid admitting my sinfulness.  I avoid taking time to read my Bible daily.  I avoid daily exercise.  I avoid driving the speed limit 100% of the time.  I avoid using good manners when I’m upset or frustrated.  I avoid all kinds of things that are good for me because it is unpleasant in the short term. 

As I think about it, I am reminded of how God’s laws and commandments leave a “bad taste in my mouth.”  The law is good for me, but I don’t want to live by it all the time. I want to do my own thing.  Thankfully, God’s grace is there to grant forgiveness when I don’t want to live under His good law.  His grace covers me, and you, and our kids!

“For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.”  Romans 6:14

 

Family Discussion Points!

What are some things people in your family avoids eating?

What are some things your family avoids doing that are ultimately good for you?

Simply:  Law = you are sinful, but God’s grace = you are completely forgiven.  How should the law impact your life?  How should God’s grace?

Partners in Parenting

“Silent in the Snow!”

Over the Christmas break, my two boys and the neighbor boy built a huge igloo by our driveway.  Before they made it into an awesome igloo, I went out and hollowed out a bunch of it.  I crawled inside and instantly, everything went silent.  It was amazing that I couldn’t hear anything going on outside of that igloo any longer.  I was warm.  I couldn’t feel the wind.  I heard a really interesting sound – silence!  I closed my eyes, and I was interested to find my mind immediately focused on God.  It was odd that I suddenly thought of God and his gifts of snow, love, family, and on and on it went.  I found myself inside a big pile of snow enjoying absolute silence while talking to God like He was in there with me.  The realization came to me that God was with me the whole time I was outside the igloo as well as now inside it.  The difference was that silence brought Him to the forefront of my mind.  Silence, what a way to find time with God!  God even says:  “Be still and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10

Family Discussion Points!

Where can/do you find the most silence in your house?  When does that happen?

Have every family member lay on the floor in silence for 2 minutes.  Talk about what you thought of during that time after it is done.

Talk about when silence is a good thing.  When it is a bad thing!

Partners in Parenting

“Instant Gratification!”

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”  Romans 8:25  Paul certainly didn’t write this in 2012;  or anytime in our recent past for that matter.  We can pretty much get what we want when we want it, and we can generally receive it very quickly.  Last week, one of my children wanted something from a local store.  I said we could go to the store the next time we were out to look at the item.  This child of mine decided it would be wise to look the item up from that local store online.  WOW, a deal of 15% off with no shipping costs.  What could be better, right!!  Then I believe the thinking went like this:  OK, dad already said he would take me to the store, but he didn’t say I couldn’t place an online order.  He’s not real wild about that stuff ---  Mom just got home.  She doesn’t know about the conversation with dad.  Mom likes good deals shopping while dad could care less.  I think mom will let me place the online order.  Here I go:  Ask, a little convincing, reminder that mom wouldn’t have to find time to take me to the store…BINGO!  I got the green light to order. Mom loves me so much!  A few clicks later, and the items was ordered.  My child felt a real sense of ownership even though the item hadn’t arrived.  We had to deal with the less than stellar communication in this situation, but we also had to help our child understand about patience and waiting in life.  Well, it sure helped drive that lesson home when the order our child placed was WAY too big.  It wouldn’t fit me or any other person I know.  I don’t think that would have happened had we just gone to the local store!!

As a parent, I was reminded of the constant desire to have things now.  Not just my kids’ instant gratification desires, but I was reminded of my own.  I also considered the reality that our salvation as Christians is kind of like an online order.  It is ours.  We own it.  It just hasn’t arrived yet.  That’s what Paul was talking about in Romans 8:25.  We hope for life with Jesus in heaven, but it isn’t here yet since we are alive on earth.  We own it as Christians, but it hasn’t arrived yet!

Family Discussion Points!

Discuss why waiting is so hard!  Ask yourself:  Am I good at waiting?

Share stories of having to wait for something you really wanted.

Discuss waiting for life in heaven and what we should be doing now on earth.

Partners in Parenting

Partners in Parenting

“What’s all the Fuss?”

Before you even begin to read this, let’s set one thing straight:  I love Christmas! 

We had a family Christmas party over the weekend.  It was about an hour and a half drive to get to it.  Before going, we went to church, but we were given strict instructions not to be late because dinner was going to begin at 6pm sharp.  It was understood that we should dress nicely for this party.  We were to be ready for a family picture when Santa came to the party with gifts for all the kids.  We were to have one gift for a male and one gift for a female in order to play a gift-giving game for the adults.  I could go on, but I won’t… As the time for the party approached, I remember thinking to myself, “OK, let’s not mess this up:  drive up north, go to church, don’t be late, dress nice, bring a camera, bring all our gifts, fuss, fuss, fuss!  I just wanted to go hang out with family and have fun.  Why all the fussing about so many things?  Maybe it’s because all the fuss is worth it.  If it is worth celebrating, it is worth fussing over!  I am reminded that celebrating Jesus’ birth is a really big deal!  Jesus presence in the world is a big deal! Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth, not all the other things we fuss over.  Even an unborn baby knew what a big deal Jesus’ birth was:  Mary enters Elizabeth’s house and greets her, then…”When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped [John the Baptist] in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.” Luke 1:41

Christmas is festive!  It is a time to celebrate!  There are lights, trees, decorations, get-togethers, etc., and I enjoy them all.  We make a big deal out of Christmas, and the more I think about what Christmas is and what it is not, I realize that Jesus is worth “all the fuss!”  Merry Christmas!

Family Discussion Points!

What Christmas things does your family fuss about?  What don’t you fuss about that many families do?

What are the competing messages, people, etc. associated with Christmas?  Does Jesus win or lose in that competition in your home?

Where and when will we worship as a family this Christmas?